sunday's lessons.

i haven't been to two services on a sunday in awhile...
this past sunday, i went to college church in the morning where pastor rick power spoke and my aunt and uncle (and cousin) led worship. and then i went to the gathering network in the evening where pastor jon shirley spoke and kyle blake led worship.

throughout that day, i was either taught-or had the realization that...

in this day and age, we need to make time for God.
there's  so  too many time-fillers...from every internet source (laptops, desktops, tablets, phones) to every gaming device (playstation, xbox, kinect, wii, handheld games, computers, phones) to the constant interaction and communication (phone calls, texts, e-mail, twitter, facebook, blogs) that is defined as "necessary" to participate in and "absurd" if you're not constantly available.
we have to consciously set time aside to make room for God. (very sad, but very true.) we're so distracted and consumed by worldy matters when He is so transcendent. i am reminded of nichole nordeman's song:: "oh, great God...be small enough to hear me now."

growing up, when we learned the Lord's prayer, it was only verses 9-13 of matthew 6...
"our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy Will be done--on earth as it is in Heaven. give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses--as we forgive those who trespass against us. and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil...for Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory forever. amen."
but we skip the last part in verses 14 and 15...
"for if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you...but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your's."
- NKJ

it is required by God that we forgive.

in order for God to forgive us, we must forgive others.

and in order for us to forgive others-and God to forgive us, we must repent and be sincerely remorseful.

i am too quick to forgive...and then trust again, that it has caused me much grief. it is imperative that we know that forgiveness and trust are separate ideas. it took me 23 years and a lot of heartache to finally realize this--to the point of acting accordingly.
it's too easy for me to forgive those who have sinned against me, but for those who have sinned against the people i love...it's a completely different story. because i know my own pain, i know my own tolerance, i know that i will eventually be fine. but i can never understand how people can treat such wonderful people so poorly. and how those wonderful people put up with it-over & over & over again. i feel so strongly about it that i can't even tell if it is a problem in my own life and walk with God-that i need to work on...or if it's simply the result of loving so deeply. (it is not hindering my own life-or even the way i treat those people i don't understand, i would like to think so at least...but it definitely changes my view of their character-and my opinion of their interaction with my loved ones. which seems to be that it is more about trust then. which Lord knows how limited i am in that category anyway.)

in the evening service, there was a call to action...and it was to come up with some sort of applicable goal. at this stage in my life, and based off the previous statements, it was actually somewhat difficult to think of anything relatable.
i find ease in coming up with reasonings as to why people are the way they are, why they do what they do, and i try to put myself in their shoes...
but in the heat of the moment (specifically with my family), i am not too merciful. i can get snappy. i can get impatient. and so i concluded that my initial reaction is not to show forgiveness and mercy...no matter how quickly it may come after the fact, it is still something to work on.

all of this to say...i am so thankful i can learn more about myself and my relationship with God every blessed day. what an encouraging thought in itself.