-quote me.

the entirety of my life, i have collected quotes.
be it writing down inside jokes as a child and adolescent, literally keeping a "quote book" in high school, hoarding magazine & newspaper clippings, or accumulating book excerpts, song lyrics, movie lines, and inspiring thoughts...i love them. i remember them. i re-quote them.
it may have to do with my relational approach to living, as i feel it is the sole importance in life.
it may have to do with the subject of communication, of which i feel like is ever-present, never-ceasing.
it may have to do with my total obsession with words, in general, and the extensive vocabulary and beauty of the written/spoken language.

whatever the reason...quotes have the ability to impact me...to encourage me...to inspire me.
and i believe they are significantly important to share; the following is a chronological compilation of just a few of my notable favorites.
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"Life is a storm, my young friend. You will bask in the sunlight one moment, be shattered on the rocks the next. What makes you a man is what you do when that storm comes."
– Alexandre Dumas (The Count of Monte Cristo).
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"When it is dark enough, you can see the stars."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson.
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"the earth can shake, the sky come down, the mountains all fall to the ground, but i will fear none of these things. shelter me Lord underneath your wings. dark waters rise and thunder pounds, the wheels of war are going round, and all the walls are crumbling. shelter me Lord underneath your wings. the wind can blow, the rain can pour, the deluge breaks, the tempest roars, but in the storm my spirit sings when you shelter me Lord underneath your wings."
- Selah (Shelter Me).
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"i've been climbing my whole life, and i'm only at the bottom of the mountain…my hands cannot reach it, and my mind can't comprehend it, but my soul is gonna get there one day…"
- Selah (On the Mountain).
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"Unless the Lord had given me help, I would soon have dwelt in the silence of death. When I said, "My foot is slipping," Your unfailing love, Oh Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul. The Lord has become my fortress, and my God the rock in whom I take refuge."
- Psalm 94:17-19 and 22.
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"out of the chaos came the promise. the universe rose and applauded, when you commanded the new born sun to rise…into my chaos comes your promise. the new is rising, the old is past on. you are reviving and making all things right…"
- Selah (Hope of the Broken World).
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"Those who believe they believe in God, but without passion in the heart, without anguish of mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, and even at times without despair, believe only in the idea of God, and not in God himself."
– Madeleine L’Engle.
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"Unless it's mad, passionate, extraordinary love...it is a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love should not be one of them."
- anonymous...
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"It is nonsense to believe that you must compromise your beliefs, or water down your convictions in order to love someone, or even just treat them with dignity."
- Rick Warren.
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"Don't love to be loved in return; don't give to receive. Love because Jesus told you to. Love the way He loved.
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"He didn’t come so that others could serve him. He came to serve and give his life…”"
- anonymous...Mark 10:45.
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"love each other as God loves each one of you, with an intense and particular love...if your heart is full of love, you will speak of love."
- Mother Teresa.
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"the heart in my chest beats wildly as each step brings us closer to you…magnificent one, merciful judge. we rejoice and sing in the favor of our God. omnipotent love, almighty friend. you are always just, you are always good, and your kingdom has no end, magnificent one."
- Selah (Threshold of Glory).
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"tis so sweet to trust in Jesus, just to take him at his word, just to rest upon his promise, just to know "Thus saith the Lord"…i'm so glad i learned to trust thee, precious Jesus, savior, friend, and i know that thou art with me--will be with me to the end."
- William J. Kirkpatrick (Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus, hymn).

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"I want to be one of those rare Christians whose very presence incites others to also be better Christians."
- A.W. Tozer.

Thankful.

When I was choosing a college, MidAmerica was a natural choice. My parents met there, (I would be the 16th person in my family to go there,) I was able to receive multiple scholarships-including ones for softball & choir, I had attended the partnered church for the past nine years at the time, and it was a Christian college.
Going to public grade schools, I had never known the significant impact going to a Christian college would have on my years there.
Not only is there a chapel service 3/5 weekdays, but most professors will pray or do a devotional before each class, the professors genuinely care about you as a student AND as a child of God, the professors understand when you are going through trials and want to work with you, and there is always someone on campus who is willing to listen and/or pray with you.
This semester I have had to communicate with my professors about my struggles this past year-and specifically the past three months; although I was very hesitant since I am such a private person...it has been beneficial. Today, I received an e-mail from one of my professors::

"McKenzi,
I read this devotional below today and for some reason thought of you and felt I should forward it. Maybe God knows why. In any case, it's good advice for most of us. See you in class.
Prof. P.

'Thursday March 22, 2012
The Ways to Self-knowledge
"Know yourself" is good advice. But to know ourselves doesn't mean to analyse ourselves. Sometimes we want to know ourselves as if we were machines that could be taken apart and put back together at will. At certain critical times in our lives it might be helpful to explore in some detail the events that led us to our crises, but we make a mistake when we think that we can ever completely understand ourselves and explain the full meaning of our lives to others.
Solitude, silence, and prayer are often the best ways to self-knowledge. Not because they offer solutions for the complexity of our lives but because they bring us in touch with our sacred center, where God dwells. That sacred center may not be analysed. It is the place of adoration, thanksgiving, and praise.'"

It is amazing that I can be at a school like this, where this is a common occurrence...I am so exceedingly blessed-and so thankful.

"I look to You."

These past three and a half months have been the hardest of my life.
My life did a complete 180, and I was back to square one...and forced to make the most difficult decision of my life.
Because of everything-and how hard it was on me-I decided to give up listening to any secular music for lent. That way, I could spend that time in my jeep or in my room thinking about and praising God through music that glorified Him.
My family has listened to Selah since their first album in 2005, but their most recent has really struck a chord in me...I've listened to it non-stop for the past month. There are seven (!!) songs I cannot get over, but the one that makes me cry every time is "I Look to You".

You can listen to it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3Yl9j4EytE&feature=related

The phrase that sings "I don't know if I'm gonna make it; nothing to do but lift my head", I always like to think that instead of lifting my head, I lift my hands...and that just sends shivers up my spine to think that at my lowest points, when I feel like I cannot possibly do anything or continue on, I turn to God and am still able to praise Him. I just love that...
"when melodies are gone, in You I hear a song"...these past three months have been such a solid reminder that I really can only find true joy in Him, that I really can only find true peace in Him, that I need to TRUST Him...and REJOICE in Him--and PRAISE Him...no matter what, through it all.
-and although some moments felt like what must've been Hell, I have grown so much just within that time period, and I am only planning on continuing to do so; it has made me SO-THANKFUL and SO much wiser and brought me SO much closer to God. it's amazing how He works like that...
"and we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
- Romans 8:28, NIV.

joshua 1:9

"Have I not commanded you?? Be strong and courageous!! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
- NIV.

proverbs 3:5-6

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
- NIV.

TURN-THAT-FROWN-UPSIDE-DOWN-YALL.

with 44 days left in 2011, we have reached the holiday season, yall.i am going on 23, i am reaching the end of college-dom, and have experienced some life. i am now helping out with the youth at Journey Church International.and through it all, i have seriously already learned SO-MUCH. about myself...and about life...and about my relationship with the Lord...and about love.
there have been many, many, MANY times in my life where i have struggled. where i have been down. where i have felt insignificant. or not worthy. where i felt completely & utterly alone.
BUT...as time wore on, and i grew, and learned, and listened, i have come to realize a few things about life, love, and the pursuit happiness.
-and that they are realizations that could perhaps benefit others. so i will share them. (i know this is long, but bare with me.)

1. your brain is more powerful than you think.
once i made the conscious choice to be happy...i was.
because it is a choice.
i realized that deceiving everyone in my life into thinking i had this perfect-beyond-happy-life was hurting me. it was so-much-work; it was exhausting. and a lie. and impossible to obtain.
...by telling myself i was done being depressed, it made me progress into a truly joyful person.
and i'm not saying it wasn't difficult at times...because it was. there were many times i would fall back and hit a low, but i knew i had the power to defeat it.
2. once you start telling yourself you are happy, you become happy.
FOOL YOURSELF into thinking you are happy...and it will become a habitual state of mind.
don't let yourself dwell on things. and don't worry. the longer you dwell & worry, the more you are thinking negatively. and for WHAT?!? you are not solving ANYTHING. you are only hurting yourself.
smile. and laugh. and let yourself relish & revel in the joys of life.
3. count your blessings.
my mother has always told me to keep a grateful journal, a journal of every blessing i have...of every, single thing i am thankful for.
one of my favorite songs when i was young was 'count your blessings' by the martens. it's about the story of job in the bible, and how he literally lost everything and never doubted God-and kept thanking Him for what He did have. it is an amazing story. seriously, go read it if you haven't. and if you have, read it again.
this is not to make you feel BAD. honestly, i didn't like to do this when i was depressed because it made me even more depressed. i always knew i had it good--GREAT, in fact. and knowing that and hearing all the horror home-life stories and those in need overseas made me feel even worse because i knew i had no right to feel the way i did. it made me feel selfish, which in a way i was because i was self-absorbed in my "terrible" life; it was all i ever thought about. and the fact that i did not want to live anymore was SO selfish...that i would have thoughts of taking my life--away from everyone who loved me, especially my parents...was ridiculously selfish.
anyway, a blessing can be anything. it doesn't have to be a characteristic you are glad you have...it can be the fact that you have a warm house when it's below freezing out...or food to more than fill your belly...or that one day you get to sleep in...or the fact you have a job in this economy...or even just that ONE person you know you can go to about anything.
this leads me to numero quatro...
4. always look on the bright side of life. (no, this is not a monty python reference.) ;)
not only should you count your blessings during the tough times, but it's HEALTHY to think of how much worse things could be.
-make it a game. think of all the ridiculously, awkwardly, hilariously, embarrassingly, morbidly, AWFUL thing that could have happened instead of what did. and you'll make yourself laugh.
5. DO...laugh at yourself.
in fifth grade, i got my entire shirt ripped in half, right down the middle. and-YES, it was embarrassing to have the entire fifth grade laugh hysterically at you in just your sports bra and shorts...and then proceed to laugh hysterically when you have to wear an xxl stanley elementary wildcats shirt the remainder of the day. BUT i remember making a conscious decision to shake it off because moments like those are how dorks are made.
seriously though. people are going to laugh at you when you drop your books or when you trip and fall flat on your face--no matter who you are. that's just life. watch afhv or ridiculousness. if you can't learn to laugh with them, you're going to turn beat red and run away...and hate your life-at some point or another. (or just learn to be very, very cautious and fly under the raydar, which surely is no fun either.)
and laughing makes you happier-and live longer. (who's laughing now??)
6. Pray.
pray when you hate life.
pray when you love life.
pray and thank God.
pray when you wonder why.
pray for your loved ones.
pray for your enemies.
pray for the invisible children.
pray for that guy on the road who just flipped you off for no reason.
everyone--EVERYONE is going through something you have no idea about. no idea.
so who are we to judge that woman who just flew through that red light and almost t-boned us. she could be rushing to the hospital praying & hoping to tell her mother she loves her one last time.
7. Love.
love every person you meet. because even if they are the biggest jerk in the world, there is a reason. and i'd say 99.9% of the time, in one way or another, it is because they do not feel loved.
show-them-God's love. and they will wonder why. it's time to live the gospel unashamed.
8. Do not live your life for yourself.
God created us to have a relationship with Him. he CREATED us, in His own image...so HE could have a relationship with US. how crazy & fricken awesome is that?? God sent His own Son---to DIE on the cross---so He could have a relationship with us. and yet...we feel alone. or ugly. or depressed. or fat. or insignificant. or unworthy.
Let God consume your life...and the peace that transcends all understanding will consume you.

"So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold -- though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world."
- 1 Peter 1:6 -7, NLT.

there is nothing i want more in this world than love and truth.