the next twelve months.

i love making lists.
i love making plans.
probably has something to do with the fact i just love letters & words & uniformity.

i also love holidays.
i love celebrations.
i love the different types of traditions and meanings behind each one.

there's always this stigma about new years resolutions...
why is there such negativity surrounding it...??
the whole reason for them are for a fresh start, for new beginnings, for...hope...really.
and yet, there's always these cliched, pessimistic statements & thoughts correlated.

i say...
WHATEVER.
let the haters hate.
(and yes, that has also turned into a cliched statement.)

i. LOVE. new years resolutions.
i love thinking about all the delicious foods i can make, all the beautiful projects i can create, all the breathtaking places i can go, all the precious souls i can love on.
and even if i don't get them all done, i got SOME done...i did SOMEthing.
what's life without goals & hopes & dreams...
what's life without new creations...??

so...this year, i am going with themes.
BODY.
SOUL.
MIND.
SPIRIT.
*each aspect of my life deserves more attention...and i'm at the age now, where i can recognize when each need it. i have realized that, though i feel like taking care of others & making others happy, is more important than taking care of myself & making myself happy...i don't have as much energy or tolerance to do so; i have come to find that count rugen's sentiment (below) reigns true...and that by helping myself, i can help others more.

BODY.

drink water.

consume a glass each morning when i rise, a glass (if not more) at each meal, and a glass before each movie/tv episode i indulge in.

*meme cred: the princess bride.

SOUL.

be still.

find oneness with the present moment. practice mindfulness. reflect on the Lord.

look around you."the sky above proclaims his handiwork."

MIND.

read literature.

read (at least) one book a month. reflect on what i've read. write about what i've read, including the thoughts that have emerged because of it.

*taken from anne lamott's "Help, Thanks, Wow".

SPIRIT.

create.

photograph. write. craft. design.

*photo cred: lauren ashley kilber.

BODY/SOUL/MIND/SPIRIT.

manage stress.

exhibit greater self-control. schedule. budget. organize. set goals & plans (like this post!!). follow through.

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as i sit here. waiting...

as i sit here. waiting.
with only quincy & haiti on my mind.
i am forced to reflect on this year.
during which, i have done anything but.

i tend to repress, perpetually.
but with this year being that much more intensified...the repression having infinite layers...

the past 363 days have been full.
full of unbearable sorrow.
full of distractions.
full of new beginnings.
full of learning.
full of changes.
full of bitterness, contrasting with thankfulness.
my most life-altering year to date.

the learned act of repressing gets me through daily life.
it allows me to carry on, "normally".
now--in this moment--being forced to reflect, i come face to face with this pain i've harbored so deep inside.
forced to feel this sorrow. this grief. this immense love.
forced to feel my heart being ripped from my chest once again.

i am a person who likes to pin-point my feelings.
i like to know the why in everything.
i basically need to know the why to be content.
if i do not receive a logical, educated explanation...i will over-analyze the situation until i find it myself.
this year has, on top of everything resulting from the 1st, been incredibly frustrating.
a rollercoaster.
a pinball machine.
a constant, contradicting battle between my own, personal feelings.
a constant, contradicting battle within my own mind.

ultimately, i have been bitter.
inescapably.

but, i have not allowed for time of reflection.
i have hardly journaled. which is very unlike me. i am the advocate of journaling.
albeit, i've simply had no down-time.
which has been good and bad. (what do you know...a contradiction.)
however, there has not even been a yearning in me to reflect, to journal, to acknowledge the circumstances.
fore with these acts, comes acceptance.
and i still cannot accept the truth that is this reality.
...it seems i've been waiting for haiti.
waiting to experience this place quincy fell in love with, these people she fell in love with, this experience that changed the course of her entire life.
and i'm ready to experience some sort of healing, that i've been expecting this trip to naturally evoke.
there will definitely be bitterness. but i'm also expecting much sweetness.
i am going, seeking after quincy and her heart for the country, its people, and the Lord. i feel i am searching for something i do not yet know. praying to find an answer--if even just one.
2015, you've been quite the year.
2016, please be better.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

quinc, i miss you beyond comprehension.
but you should be so proud of your people.
your legacy is significant.
your passions have now been instilled in countless others.
your words you wrote have been constant encouragement and comfort that have carried us through.
i will forever be proud of you. when first you went to haiti, i wrote you this message:

     quincy lynn!!
     -you are going to HAITI today!!
     so crazy.
     i am SO proud of you...
     -for following this opportunity that God has placed in your path.
     -for knowing it was what you were supposed to do--and not even giving it a second thought.
     -for being brave. cause serving in haiti is definitely not for the average, every-day, lukewarm, life-livers.
     -and for many, many more reasons.
     i will miss you while you're gone. (for my sake, i'm glad it's just ten days)--and can't WAIT to hear about and see all the photos from your excursion.
     i-LOOOOOOOOOOVE-youuuuuuuuuu, boo-boo-boo-boooooooooo.

if i've taken anything away from this year, it has been a lesson you have taught me upon reflecting on your life and your very being: 
make. it. happen. (cap'n.)
you are the queen of make it happen. (and also, coincidentally, love cap'n crunch.)
i chose to embrace that mantra best i could this year--and i'm expecting it to stay with me forever.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i found this today and thought it encompassed us so well.

(not hard to do with the four boys. or lauren. or at our parents' expense. or playing scrabble with gramma. or being borderline out-of-control at jack stack. or dancing like fools whenever, wherever. or quoting movies to no end. or during sleepovers till the sun is coming up. or cousin Christmas cookie night with aunt nan. or the ridiculousness that is quelf.)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
your dad has spoken (and written) many great words this year. many heart-wrenching, tearful, powerfully overwhelming, yet beautiful, words. 
these are a few that have stayed with me:

"love is the greatest force in the world.
it's the only thing that lasts.
lead with love.
if you're not moving towards love, 
you're not moving towards Jesus.
if you're not moving towards Jesus, 
you're not moving towards love.
if you're not moving towards love, what are you doing."

"love is a story. it's a story of presence.
by our presence, so we love."

"with Jesus, now there's music, and art, and beauty, and salvation in this world that we didn't even know existed.
live presently in the future we know exists."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Broken Heart. Future Hope. LQVE.org.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

in twelve days, i will be flyin to the philippines.

crazy.
seriously.
i've been officially nervous for the past two weeks now.
besides the fact i still have so much stuff i need to do and get before i go...i still feel unprepared--and i suppose i always will, and that's why i need to just go for it.
(sigh.) but seriously.
my devotions a couple nights ago::
"God asks us to go outside our comfort zones to do things for Him, to reach out in love and help others.
whether you're a missionary in a country far from home--or have a job at a local restaurant, God calls you to live out your salvation regardless of your circumstances. God also promises to give us the strength to do what he asks."
BOOM. how's that for a slap-in-the-face reality check...??
i think a big thing is that i haven't met any of the folks to know what their expectations really are...??
pray-pray-pray.
i hope (and pray) that everything just works out according to God's will. (sigh.)

scriptures/quotes that have kept my sanity as of late...encouraging me about this phase of my life and this upcoming trip::
proverbs 3:5-6.
joshua 1:9.
romans 8:28.
luke 10:2.
matthew 28:19-20. (of course.)
*and my "mantra" from the very beginning of this journey:: mark 10:45.
(i could go on.)

"it takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. but there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. there is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement--there is life, and in change--there is power."
- alan cohen.

"people look at our lives and hear us say we're Christians...but then see very little difference in us that would make them want the supposed hope & joy we have.
it's not that we're trying to impress people with how great we are; it's that we're trying to impress on people how great JESUS is.
we've got the greatest message in the world; let's not make it harder than it has to be for people to realize how great it is." (mmm. amen.)
- steven furtick.

"trust in HIS timing; rely on HIS promises; wait for HIS answers; believe in HIS miracles; rejoice in HIS goodness; relax in HIS presence."
closing with...james 4:8:
"come near to God, and He will come near to you."

those rare Christians
whose very presence incites others to be better Christians.
i want to be that rare Christian.
- a.w. tozer.

growing up, i had to have an "i don't care what you think of me" attitude...because i knew i was a good kid, with good intentions & actions & thoughts. and even so, people have always thought whatever they wanted about me.

i have had multiple people who are my friends now say when they first met me, they thought i was completely opposite than how i really am.

i have had rumors spread around school about me that were completely (completely) untrue. (with not even a possibility that someone could have been even remotely correct or even misunderstood. they had just made them up.)
and so at one point in my life, i would have described myself as insensitive...
-in the way that...i am sarcastic; i don't take myself--or statements others would say too seriously.
i also grew up in a simultaneously loving yet sarcastic environment. (my immediate family, and both sides of extended.) so i was not as keen to other people's perceptions of what i say because i knew i wasn't serious anyway.
i had to learn what this quote meant before it was ever written::
"don't take anything personally. nothing others do is because of you. what others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. when you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."
- miguel angel ruiz.
obviously, i have learned to absorb the criticisms, ridicule, and "incite" others present to an extent...while, at some point, ridding my being of the needless negativity. and certain relationships along the way have opened my eyes to how "sensitive" a person can be. (and since i don't want to make anyone upset, i have appropriately adhered...in a way to better understand, empathize, and considerately care for people.)

however...i came across this quote today...and it is like describing me. to a t. in every respect.
(so perhaps proclaiming insensitivity was entirely wrong.)::
"the highly sensitive tend to be philosophical or spiritual in their orientation, rather than materialistic or hedonistic. they dislike small talk. they often describe themselves as creative or intuitive. they dream vividly, and can often recall their dreams the next day. they love music, nature, art, physical beauty. they feel exceptionally strong emotions--sometimes acute bouts of joy, but also sorrow, melancholy, and fear. highly sensitive people also process information about their environments--both physical and emotional--unusually deeply. they tend to notice subtleties that others miss--another person's shift in mood, say, or a lightbulb burning a touch too brightly."
- susan cain.

my heart wants roots.
my mind wants wings.
i cannot bear
their bickerings.
- e.y. harburg.

check out my guest blog post today, over on Mission Church's website!!

the primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation...
but your thoughts about it.
- eckhart tolle.

"from marathon to maranatha."

i apologize for the hiatus...
i have been so ridiculously busy lately.
and i will continue to be until mid-may.

in response to yesterday's tragedy, i will leave you with this image i created...

and this fantastic article on the matter...
"we live as agents of God's Kingdom."

welcome to my oh-so crazy life.

i have a hard time with change.

this has to do with a plethora of reasons:
(not to beat a dead horse here, but...)
-i am overly-nostalgic.
-i get very attached.
-i am unreasonably loyal. (i feel a sense of ownership, to a degree.)

therefore...
i can't let things go. i feel like i'm giving up. and it makes me feel like a terrible person.
-especially when it comes to people...

the only times i have ever completely stopped being friends with someone i was extremely close to...was because of some sort of toxicity in the relationship. (or the rare, but inescapable too much distance for too long between us dilemma.)
even then--it is a long process of me feeling like a terrible person, until it becomes more & more toxic in itself...and i realize how unhealthy the circumstances have become.

i just love people. and there's a reason i love them.
-so i always want them to be around. (not every day. i'm not a needy psycho. just in my life-and i in their's- in some way or another.)
so it hurts me when they're not...or when they don't care to be anymore.
and it makes me miss them.
even when they have the potential to not have to be missed...

this is the result of getting older, and "growing up." (or so i've been told.)
except, i don't think it has to be that way.
it's called commitment. (that's not just a term. it's not just an idea used in marriage. it's a lifestyle. and it's important...no matter who you are, no matter what the relationship.)
i recognize the fact that people move on; i recognize the fact that people move away; i recognize the fact that people can grow apart.
-but it doesn't have to be that way.
therefore, it's a conscious thought...it's a decision that's made.
which makes it more personal.
it makes it hurt that much more.
apparently that's life.
-but that doesn't make it tolerable.

"two people who were once very close can,
without blame or grand betrayal,
become strangers.
perhaps this is the saddest thing in the world."
- warsan shire.

"shameless" photography plug.

(those can be shameless, right...??)

for those of you who don't know...i am a photographer!!
(very exciting stuff, yall.)
the year of 2012 brought me so much joy because i finally started my DREAM job. (and i say "job"...because up until that point, i had never gotten paid to shoot.)

i started my facebook page awhile back. (click here to take a gander and "like" my page.)
-and i finished my new blog's 2012 highlights over lent. (i didn't want to make any part of those 40+ days about me, so i waited to post about it.) (click here to take a gander at the blog.)

i am sooo-ooo excited to see what 2013 has in store for my photography. :)
(especially now that the weathers warmin up for me.)

to practice any art, no matter how well or badly,
is a way to make your soul grow, so do it."
- kurt vonnegut.

day 10: what's for dinner??

currently, i am doing the daniel fast for more time for reflection and prayer.

mission church is doing this 21days of prayer (and fasting) leading up to our official kick-off sunday!! (very exciting; hit me up for any details.)
today's prayvotional (from our lead follower-jonathan) is paired with the Message's version of Exodus 23:28-30.
"the constant assumption that you're going to get quick results will eat you up. regardless of what the world conditions you to think, if you stay faithful and patient God will lead you "little by little" to where you're supposed to be. confess your tendency to want to rush results. ask God for patience."

this time in my life is definitely trying my patience. i feel like there are a lot of things i am inevitably waiting for. it's enforcing even more the need to just trust and give it all to God. i'm thankful for this fast for even more consciousness to pray and spend time with God.

the daniel fast is definitely requiring me to get creative with my mealtimes, in order to satisfy my hunger while still getting the nutrients i need. it's also causing me to eat more often, (since my meals aren't as large and filling...what-with no bread or meat,) so i'm needing more snack-ish items at my dispense.

so--enjoy!!

APPLE CHIPS!!
(makes about two servings' worth. these are great to eat year-round!!)

this recipe calls for:
- two apples, sliced paper-thin.
- 4 c *water (optional: use 4 c apple juice/cider OR 1/4 c maple syrup instead.)
- 1 tsp *cinnamon (optional: use 1 tsp brown sugar, as well.)

directions:
- slice apples paper-thin (aka: as thin as you can get them. aka: use a mandolin, if you have one. using a knife becomes very tedious.)
- soak them in bowl of *water & *cinnamon for 10-12 minutes. (make sure water covers apples. use more if necessary.)
- lay apple slices flat & spread-out on a cooling rack in a cooking pan. (we had to get rid of our cooling rack, so i used our old grill-irons. ha.) the apples need to be able to breathe through both sides. (otherwise, you can tediously turn over each apple slice half-way through the bake time on wax paper for close to the same effect.)
- bake at 350F for 23-26 minutes. (i did 26.)
- remove from oven, turn heat off, and let oven cool down for about five minutes.
- put apples back in oven for about 8 minutes, so they can dry out further without burning.
-let cool, and chow down!!

**be sure to store in air-tight container to prevent staleness!!

day 4.

TPDL, chapter 4

made to last forever.

this life is not all there is.

"...God has planted eternity in the human heart..."

- ecclesiastes 3:11, NLT.

you have an inborn instinct that longs for immortality. this is because God designed you, in His image, to live for eternity. even though we know everyone eventually dies, death always seems unnatural and unfair. the reason we feel we should live forever is that God wired our brains with that desire!! (interesting. i seriously have never thought about that before!!...and considering how reflective/over-analytical i am, that is actually rather rare.)

when you fully comprehend that there is more to life than here and now, and you realize that life is just preparation for eternity, you will begin to live differently. you will start living in light of eternity, and that will color how you handle every relationship, task, and circumstance.

when you live in light of eternity, your values change. your priorities are reordered.

the most damaging aspect of contemporary living is short-term thinking. to make the most of your life, you must keep the vision of eternity continually in your mind and the value of it in your heart.

frankly, the capacity of our brains cannot handle the wonder and greatness of heaven.

"no eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him."

- 1 corinthians 2:9, NLT.

we will enjoy unbroken fellowship with God. (so awesome.)

it's more than the opportunity of a lifetime; God offers you an opportunity beyond your lifetime. the Bible says, "the Lord's plans stand firm forever; His intentions can never be shaken."- psalm 33:11, NLT.

there is more to life than just here and now.

"and this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. but anyone who does what pleases God will live forever."

- 1 john 2:17, NIV.

book's question:

since [you were] made to last forever, what is the one thing [you] should stop doing and the one thing [you] should start doing today...??

my answer:

hmm...one of my biggest flaws is worrying. i think about things to the nth degree, instead of just giving it to God. (which we all know...worrying is completely pointless.) one of my favorite quotes-that i need to constantly think of is: "if you pray, why worry...?? if you worry, why pray...??" (if anyone knows who said that, i cannot seem to find it.)

Genesis 21-50

(to be cont...don't worry, i am not using the purpose driven life as my Bible, people. ;) my scheduled-monday will help get back on the 40-day guide track.)

(i guess, i wrote my own sort of purpose driven life synopsis here a little over a year ago...many things in my life have changed since then; these thoughts have not.)

day 3.

TPDL, chapter 3
what drives your life...??
we are products of our our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it.
God's purpose is not limited by your past.
God specializes in giving people a fresh start. (God's a god of mercy; God's a god of love...PRAISE the Lord, He's the god of second chances!!)

fear-driven people often miss great opportunities because they're afraid to venture out.
fear is a self-imposed prison that will keep you from becoming what God intends for you to be.
you must move against it with the weapons of faith and love.
"there is no fear in love...but perfect love drives out fear."
- 1 john 4:18, NIV.

knowing your purpose gives meaning to your life.
we were made to have meaning. (this is why people try dubious methods, like astrology or psychics, to discover it.) when life has meaning, you can bear almost anything; without it, nothing is bearable.
without God, life has no purpose; without purpose, life has no meaning; without meaning, life has no significance or hope.
the greatest tragedy is not death, but life without purpose.

"for i know the plans i have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
- jeremiah 29:11, NIV.

knowing your purpose simplifies your life.
it defines what you do and what you don't do.
without a clear purpose, you have no foundation on which you base decisions, allocate your time, and use your resources.
you will tend to make choices based on circumstances, pressures, and your mood at that moment.
if you can't get it all done, it means you're trying to do more than God intended for you to do.
living on purpose is the path to peace.

knowing your purpose focuses your life. (this is my favorite part...)
it concentrates your effort and energy on what's important.
you become effective by being selective.
"therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is."
- ephesians 5:17, NIV.
there is nothing quite as [powerful] as a focused life, one lived on purpose.
the men and women who have made the greatest difference in history were the most focused.
if you want your life to have impact, focus it!!

knowing your purpose prepares you for eternity.
living to create an earthly legacy is a short-sighted goal. a wiser use of time is to build an eternal legacy.
you weren't put on earth to be remembered.
you were put here to prepare for eternity. (BAM!!)

book's question:
what would [your] family and friends say is the driving force of [your] life...?? what do [you] want it to be...??
my answer:
i would hope they would have the same answer as me...that the driving force in my life is my faith in the Lord. i am perfect, by no means...but even so, i never lose faith--because i know i can keep on truckin with the Lord.

Genesis 21-50

(to be cont...don't worry, i am not using the purpose driven life as my Bible, people. ;) i so-extensively covered this chapter anyway that yall probably wouldn't have the patience to continue to read any more.)

(i guess, i wrote my own sort of purpose driven life synopsis here a little over a year ago...many things in my life have changed since then; these thoughts have not.)

day 2.

Genesis 11-20
-NIV. (i am following this 40-day guide...with my own modifications based on health and timing.)

"then the Lord said to abraham 'why did sarah laugh and say, "will i really have a child now that i am old??" is anything too hard for the Lord??'" 18:14
-this just makes me smile. because--duh...no. ha. i just love it.

while reading, i definitely just feel a sense of God's wrath and...the need for me to be so entirely "God-fearing".
there has been so much sin...even from the very beginning, and reading from a third-party perspective, i am so shocked--but no doubt is what goes on these days so much more significantly worse.
'makes me so sad.

TPDL, chapter 2
you are not an accident.
"i am your Creator. you were in My care even before you were born."
- isaiah 44:2, CEV.

your birth was no mistake or mishap, and your life is no fluke of nature. your parents may not have planned you...but God did.
while there are illegitimate parents, there are no illegitimate children. (i love that.)
it is not fate, nor chance, nor luck, nor coincidence that you are breathing at this very moment.

"You know me inside and out, You know every bone of my body; You know exactly how i was made, bit by bit, how i was sculpted from nothing into something."
- psalm 139:15, MSG.

the Bible tells us "God is love." (1 john 4:16) it doesn't say God has love. He IS love!!
love is the essence of God's character.
"long before He laid down earth's foundations, He had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of His love..." (mmm...so-so good.)
- ephesians 1:4, MSG.

"God decided to give us life through the word of truth, so we might be the most important of all things He made."

-this is how much God loves and values you!!

there is a God who made you for a reason, and your life has profound meaning!! we discover that meaning and purpose only when we make God the reference point of our lives.
"the only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what He does for us."
-romans 12:3, MSG.

God is not haphazard; He planned it all with great precision. (amen.)

book's question: [you] know that God uniquely created [you]. what areas of [your] personality, background, and physical appearance [are you] struggling to accept...??
my answer: growing up...i was the epitome of the feeling of "not enough butter scraped over too much bread." i was involved in way too much...by my own choice. this has followed me throughout time, whether or not i got less busy. my greatest struggle is probably the "fear" of not living up to my potential and letting down those who love me, including God.

(i guess, i wrote my own sort of purpose driven life synopsis here a little over a year ago...many things in my life have changed since then; these thoughts have not.)

day 1.

Genesis 1-10
- NIV. (i am following this 40-day guide...however the next few days i have a lot of time to read, so i will be reading genesis 11-27 tomorrow.)

"in the beginning, God created." 1:1
-that's all we need right there.
in the BEGINNING...GOD... (He was there AT the very beginning.)...CREATED. (He created it all. everything. for His purpose,  from His imagination.)

"God said 'let there be light!!' and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness." 1:3-4 (i love the symbolism here too.)
"then God said, 'let Us make man in our image, in our likeness'...so God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them, 'Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it." 1:26a, 27-28
"God saw all that he had made, and it was very good."1:31

"the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being."2:7
"the Lord God said 'it is not good for man to be alone. i will make a helper suitable for him.'" 2:18

TPDL, chapter 1
it all starts with God.
the purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness.
focusing on ourselves will never reveal our life's purposes.

you exist only because God wills that you exist.
"all things have been created through Him and for Him."

- colossians 1:16, NIV.

you were made BY God FOR God.

life is about letting God use you for HIS purposes, not your using Him for your own purpose.

"obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life."
- romans 8:6, MSG.

"it's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, He had His eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose He is working out in everything and everyone."
- ephesians 1:11-23, MSG.

book's question: in spite of all the advertising around [you], how can [you] remind [yourself] that life is really about living for God, not [you]...??
my answer: i think that not spending my time consumed with thoughts of myself is crucial; by not *dwelling on things that are not of my concern...or not *dwelling on anything negative, for that matter, (be it my own circumstance, life event, relationships, human-acceptance, body-image, fitting in with the "status quo", life direction,) i-in turn-don't think about ME as much--which i think is very important to learn in life. it can be a hard idea to grasp...but i think everyone is capable of it. the brain is a very powerful thing. (you will hear me say this a lot.) don't get me wrong, there are times when i have thoughts about myself-obviously, but once i latched onto that concept (of specifically not *dwelling), there was no forgetting it--and it is so, incredibly beneficial and life-changing.

(i guess, i wrote my own sort of purpose driven life synopsis here a little over a year ago...many things in my life have changed since then; these thoughts have not.)

"there is a difference between devotion to principles
and devotion to a person.
hundreds of people today are devoting themselves to phases of truth,
to causes.
Jesus Christ never asks us to devote ourselves to a cause or a creed;
He asks us to devote ourselves to Him."

- oswald chambers.

"we exist to spread a passion for the supremacy of God in all things,
for the joy of all peoples."

- john piper.

i sing because i'm free...

"faith is the bird that sees the light and sings when the dawn is still dark."

- Rabindranath Tagore.

i love coming across quotes, phrases, lyrics, instances that reaffirm my beliefs, decisions, being.

almost exactly three years ago i broke down and got
a tattoo.

it had been a long time coming.

it had been an extensive process.

it was anything but spontaneous.

i had definitely done my research.

what. why. where. who. and finally when.

as my 22nd birthday approached, i succumbed to the urge and went for it.

i had decided on the silhouettes of two sparrows...

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow nor reap nor store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"
- Matthew 6:26, NIV.

"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."
- Luke 12:6-7, NIV.

as i furthered my research, so as to not receive any snide remarks i.e., "you know what sparrows mean, don't youuu...??"...i soon came to find out that sparrows have countless positive symbolisms, two main ideas being love & faithfulness.
"let love and faithfulness never leave you...bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart."
- proverbs 3:3, NIV.
(^another future tattoo in the making...shhh.)

i was sold.
i chose my wrist, so i could be reminded at all times, and so it could be a conversation-starter to spread the good word.
not one regret since.

photo courtesy of: trisha marie, 2/8/11

"I sing because I'm happy, I sing because I'm free...
for His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me."
- "His eye is on the sparrow".

set fire to your old self.

"you don’t know anyone at the party, so you don’t want to go.
you don’t like cottage cheese, so you haven’t eaten it in years.
this is your choice, of course, but don’t kid yourself: it’s also the flinch.

your personality is not set in stone.
you may think a morning coffee
is the most enjoyable thing in the world,
but it’s really just a habit.
thirty days without it, and you would be fine.
you think you have a soul mate,
but in fact you could have had any number of spouses.
you would have evolved differently, but been just as happy.

you can change what you want about yourself at any time.
you see yourself as someone
who can’t write or play an instrument,
who gives in to temptation
or makes bad decisions,
but that’s really not you.
it’s not ingrained.
it’s not your personality.
your personality is something else,
something deeper
than just preferences and these details on the surface.
you can change anytime you like.

if it is useful to do so,
you must abandon your identity and start again.
sometimes, it’s the only way.

set fire to your old self.
it’s not needed here.
it’s too busy shopping, gossiping about others,
and watching days go by
 asking why you haven’t gotten as far as you’d like.
this old self will die and be forgotten by all but family,
and replaced by someone who makes a difference.

your new self is not like that.
your new self is the Great Chicago Fire—overwhelming, 
overpowering, and destroying everything that isn’t necessary."

- julien smith 

(reblogged from:  a well travelled woman.)