i am not a mother...

i am not a mother.
i have a mother.and i love her dearly.i also love holidays.but...as i have experienced and been aware of significant pain & loss my entire life...through the joy of a holiday, it is often interwoven with pain and confusion, as the roller-coaster of conflicted emotions emerge.

*i am not posting this on mother's day--because i celebrate my mother (and all mothers, literal and metaphorical) gladly...and i don't want to be a debbie-downer on the love and appreciation that can come with the day.

however, anne's sentiments...(with some statements slightly more intense than my own perspective)...are important to note. 

here are my sentiments:
there are already people dreading this weekend...
the mothers who've lost a child.
the daughters/sons who've lost a mother.
the sons who've lost a mother--but still want to celebrate the mother of his child.
the women who've had miscarriages or stillbirths.
the women who are unable to physically bear a child.
the women who've put their baby up for adoption.
the daughters/sons who've been put up for adoption.
the daughters/sons who're living in foster care.
the women who've chosen abortion.
the mothers who are not close to their child, in proximity.
the daughters/sons who are not close to their mother, in proximity.
the mothers who are not close to their child, relationally.
the daughters/sons who are not close to their mother, relationally.
the mothers & daughters/sons who've become estranged.
the mothers who feel they aren't good enough mothers.
the mothers who weren't (or feel they weren't) good enough mothers.
the daughters/sons who were raised by negligent/selfish/abusive/toxic mothers.
the mothers who're now divorced and split time with their child.
the step-mothers who are trying to figure it all out and/or still feel they aren't good enough for their step-child.
the daughters/sons who are part of blended families.
the single dads who should receive double-holiday recognition.
the mothers whose child is ill.
the daughters/sons whose mother is ill.
the women who've not yet found someone they've fallen for, but desperately want a child.
the women who're racing "the clock".
the women who have helped raise children who are not their own, out of love/responsibility/obligation/what-have-you.
the grandmothers who've taken on the "mother" role.
the women who do not feel equipped to have a child--but continue to hear that one has not experienced love till one becomes a mother.
the daughters/sons who thankfully has their mother--but has to navigate through words and feelings because their mother has lost her mother and a child.
-the list goes on & on...

this day can be extremely difficult. (as can every holiday.)
let us be aware of our words--and respectful of what we post on social media.