check out my guest blog post today, over on Mission Church's website!!

what's for dinner?!?

after the fast, i definitely went a little crazy scarfing down what i hadn't eaten for forty days...and suffered the consequence. (i decided to cut back on gluten, to see if it could cut back on my stomach problems...and i think it's definitely helped.)
i had discovered these muffins during the fast, and although they are considered "vegan", they still have sugar (granulated and in the chocolate chips), so i had to refrain for the time being.

i love these. so much.
i've made them twice already.

BANANA CHOCOLATE-CHIP MUFFINS!!
(makes about 12 muffins; can be vegan-ized.)

this recipe calls for:
- 4 very ripe bananas
- 2 c flour
- 1 c sugar
- 1 c chocolate chips (semi-sweet, etc. for vegan.)
- 1/4 c water
- 1&1/2 tsp baking soda
- 1 tsp vanilla
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1/3 c canola oil

directions:
- mix flour, baking soda, and salt.
- in separate, large bowl, beat sugar and oil.
- add chocolate chips and mashed bananas to sugar/oil mixture.
- add water and vanilla, and blend.
- add flour/soda/salt mixture, and fully blend.
- fill lightly-greased muffin tin.
- bake at 350F for 30 minutes or until golden brown.

*the first time i made them, i had only half a cup of semi-sweet and used Ghirardelli milk chocolate-chips for the other half. waaaaay too much chocolate for me.
**the second time i made them, i nixed the chocolate altogether and made six muffins and put the rest of the mix in a bread pan. (ended up having to cook for twice as long...but made a darn-good banana bread.)
***i'm feelin half a cup of regular chocolate-chips for next time's batch.

the primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation...
but your thoughts about it.
- eckhart tolle.

"from marathon to maranatha."

i apologize for the hiatus...
i have been so ridiculously busy lately.
and i will continue to be until mid-may.

in response to yesterday's tragedy, i will leave you with this image i created...

and this fantastic article on the matter...
"we live as agents of God's Kingdom."

please pray for my grampa.
he had a stroke this weekend...and we are praying he comes back from it, as he was before.
our family is all so-ridiculously close, so this has been a very hard & emotional time.

"we wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. in Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His Holy Name. may Your unfailing love rest upon us, Oh Lord, even as we put our hope in You."
- psalm 33:20-22.
"the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are attentive to their cry."
- psalm 34:15 & 1 peter 3:12.

welcome to my oh-so crazy life.

i have a hard time with change.

this has to do with a plethora of reasons:
(not to beat a dead horse here, but...)
-i am overly-nostalgic.
-i get very attached.
-i am unreasonably loyal. (i feel a sense of ownership, to a degree.)

therefore...
i can't let things go. i feel like i'm giving up. and it makes me feel like a terrible person.
-especially when it comes to people...

the only times i have ever completely stopped being friends with someone i was extremely close to...was because of some sort of toxicity in the relationship. (or the rare, but inescapable too much distance for too long between us dilemma.)
even then--it is a long process of me feeling like a terrible person, until it becomes more & more toxic in itself...and i realize how unhealthy the circumstances have become.

i just love people. and there's a reason i love them.
-so i always want them to be around. (not every day. i'm not a needy psycho. just in my life-and i in their's- in some way or another.)
so it hurts me when they're not...or when they don't care to be anymore.
and it makes me miss them.
even when they have the potential to not have to be missed...

this is the result of getting older, and "growing up." (or so i've been told.)
except, i don't think it has to be that way.
it's called commitment. (that's not just a term. it's not just an idea used in marriage. it's a lifestyle. and it's important...no matter who you are, no matter what the relationship.)
i recognize the fact that people move on; i recognize the fact that people move away; i recognize the fact that people can grow apart.
-but it doesn't have to be that way.
therefore, it's a conscious thought...it's a decision that's made.
which makes it more personal.
it makes it hurt that much more.
apparently that's life.
-but that doesn't make it tolerable.

"two people who were once very close can,
without blame or grand betrayal,
become strangers.
perhaps this is the saddest thing in the world."
- warsan shire.

"shameless" photography plug.

(those can be shameless, right...??)

for those of you who don't know...i am a photographer!!
(very exciting stuff, yall.)
the year of 2012 brought me so much joy because i finally started my DREAM job. (and i say "job"...because up until that point, i had never gotten paid to shoot.)

i started my facebook page awhile back. (click here to take a gander and "like" my page.)
-and i finished my new blog's 2012 highlights over lent. (i didn't want to make any part of those 40+ days about me, so i waited to post about it.) (click here to take a gander at the blog.)

i am sooo-ooo excited to see what 2013 has in store for my photography. :)
(especially now that the weathers warmin up for me.)

to practice any art, no matter how well or badly,
is a way to make your soul grow, so do it."
- kurt vonnegut.

my friends are talented.

(you can find the background on this post here and here.)
today's post is dedicated to my cousin ("and not to mention my best friend")...
- lauren ashley tredoux.

a photo i took of lauren, fall of 2011. (see more here.)

this girl.
she has creativity oozing out of her.
she is so-incredibly artistic.
from sketches, to paintings, to photography, to poetry.
she's got a gift.
i have told her so many countless times that she needs to publish her poetry one day...and that if she doesn't, i will for her.
cause she's just ridiculous.
the diction she uses is impeccable--like perfect. (according to my preferences.)
her ideas are so raw...not only can you feel her experiences with her, but it's like you are experiencing them yourself.
her expression is expressive in itself.
the essence of transparency.

here is one of my favorite poems of her's, preceding a few of my favorite photographs she's taken...

Sungod.
the sun it aches me
pulls me into sea
weed of flowers far beyond my
reach of recovering illusive hopes that led
to my disease.
pull me out
and see my bones cry out
I am no longer daughter
I am dried out.
Hear me Father, let my cup
runneth over.
Hold me tighter
bind my pieces of dust off the floor.
I am not above this.
Crippling cancer weaves itself into
my thorns, choking berries of life
that juice my core.
the sun it aches me to what was once
before (I hear it calling).
the sun it aches
my wounds into healing (I hear it calling).
Holy heat bursts me from my cold; holy heat
bursts every blood cell into worship
thawed.
I am on fire,
they cannot see my wounds burdered
with love.
Father be my breath that motivates these lungs.
Drink me water when I cannot drink myself.
Pour me over with wine that I may be restored.
Feed me your hands, your heart, your thorns
Your sun breaks through my aching parts,
“Don’t be afraid of light, my rays bring you life”

i just love her poems.
i can read them over & over & over again and get something new-and different-and inspiring-and enthralling from each one every single time.
i am immensely envious of her God-given talent.

to pour her very soul into words so descriptive and precisely placed that they can make me laugh-and cry-and cringe-and smile...that is no doubt a gift.

her tumblr has many more poetic gems; check it out.

(she also went to europe last fall, and pretty much all of her photos there were amazing...so instead of weeding through the hundreds of those, i stuck with these beauts.)

-and no, this is not an april fools joke. (hahaha.)