day FORTY.

during this lent season,
i have...

- been heavily involved in the process of a church plant--and it's official kickoff.
- been accepted for an international work & witness trip.
- attempted to bless others as often as i had a mind to.
- recognized that in order to make things happen, you have to set goals...and to reach those goals, you have to set smaller goals at a scheduled pace. (my 40-days of reading goal was not met, unfortunately enough...but i'm still reading, and that was the point of it all anyway.)
- realized how much words of affirmation is one of my gifts. (by way of receiving words of affirmation about my words of affirmation.)
- been sooo thankful for His undeniable, unfathomable, and significant healing throughout my entire life...this past year, definitely included.
- continued to feel an overwhelming sense of support from family, friends, acquaintances, and the like.
- spent quality time seeking God through good music.
(this girl definitely added to that.)
- gained knowledge and perspective through fasting.
- prayed & prayed & prayed & prayed...and strived to seek God, fully--to just dwell in His presence.
- felt truly blessed by all the ways the Lord shows Himself to me, and all the gifts and blessings He has provided me with. (and i am thankful for the coming of age that has helped me realize different reasons and ways in which i can use and incorporate them throughout even my day-to-day life.)
- worshipped the Lord through it all.

it was a good 40 days, yall.
(and although i am disappointed i did not fully "complete" my goals...my relationship with the Lord has significantly grown, which was my ultimate goal regardless.) (and i am continuing on to still meet those goals.)

oh, how i love Him, but...
"oh...how He loves us."
(DO check out that song, performed here by lacey sturm&flyleaf.)

1 Corinthians 15; check it. comeon--why not, it IS Easter.

day 39.

once in darkness, now in light;
once blind, now you see;
once a sinner, now a saint;
once bound, now free.

once a stranger, now a child;
empty, now filled;
once condemned, now reconciled;
broken, now healed.

once a prodigal, now home;
once lost, now found;
once an enemy, now a friend;
once poor, now crowned.

that's the power of the Cross;
see the chains fall.

see the chains...see your chains fall.
- natalie grant.

this song is SO powerful.

-and she's just so good.

if you need somewhere to worship tomorrow for Easter sundaaay...

COME TO MISSION CHURCH!!

*and as a response to the latest gay-rights dispute, read this blog post. seriously--read it.

day...38: what's for dinner?!?

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*i just found this post i never published through from a couple weeks ago!! (shoot !!) but happy Good Friday!!
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currently, i am doing the daniel fast as a time of reflection and prayer.

mission church is doing this 21days of prayer leading up to our official kick-off sunday!! (very exciting; hit me up for any details.)

the fast is requiring me to get creative with my mealtimes, in order to satisfy my hunger while still getting the nutrients i need. it's also causing me to eat more often, (since my meals aren't as large and filling...what-with no bread or meat,) so i'm needing more snack-ish items at my dispense.

so--enjoy!!

(i made this once last summer; it didn't turn out so well. but this time...it was just splendid.)

you might say, how in the world can i make ice cream without dairy?!?
well...
this special ingredient is none other than...bananas!! (i love banana-anything.)

NO-DAIRY ICE CREAM!!
(makes about 2 cups.)

the recipe calls for:
- 2 just-ripened bananas
- 1/4 c water

directions:
- slice bananas into (about) one-inch slices.
- throw banana slices into plastic baggie and stick in freezer. (i took mine out after about five hours; you don't want them in there for days though cause they'll brown and get so frozen that they're even harder to blend.)
- after frozen, put banana slices in blender and blend until smooth. (you might have to spoon it around, but it'll get there.)
- serve it up!! (sometimes i blend peanut butter in--or cocoa--or both!! but the banana by itself is good enough for me!!)

love it. so good. so easy. so healthy.
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annnd just so yall know that cooking isn't just my "forte" (or whatever)...and is definitely a trial-and-error type of art, where you can mess up recipes or just have different tastebuds than the creator...here are the recipes i tried on the fast that did n.o.t turn out delicious:

OLIVE OIL & SALT QUICKBREAD.
vegbonvivant.wordpress.com/2010/11/08/fresh-bread-45-minutes-no-yeast-really-its-yummy-too
-not so "yummy". i just missed bread!! my food processor = me & a wooden spoon. waaay too salty...and yall know i like my salt. i ate three slices, got a stomach ache, and trashed the rest.

TWO-INGREDIENT COOKIES.
www.theburlapbag.com/2012/07/2-ingredient-cookies-plus-the-mix-ins-of-your-choice
-she uses a third ingredient as an "add-in"...but says you don't have to; i'm probably thinkin you do have to for them to be good. they definitely tasted healthy though...i probably ate 12 in one sitting just cause they were there, saved about four to photograph the final product, forgot about them--cause they weren't too memorable, annnd threw them away once they grew mold. (i even added peanut butter to some, cocoa to a few, and both to some...couldn't cut it.)

SUNSHINE BLUES JUICE.
blog.freepeople.com/2012/08/4-easy-homemade-juice-recipes-juicer-required/#ixzz2MmvKLpRg
- iiiii definitely used ginger powder instead of chopped ginger (it was all we had!!) and put both whole lemons in. (minus the peeling, of course. i'm not that stupid.) hahaha. SOOO S.O.U.R. i couldn't even finish it.

days 31-37.

yesterday was my mom's 52nd birthday.

thank you for the many countless things you have taught me.
because of your genes, because of your teachings, and because of your influence & example, i am who i am.

i am blessed that our home has always been filled with home-cooked meals, prayer, affection, laughter, music, and love.

i have been and am so thankful for your listening ears, your loving care, your great glove, your side-arm throw, your kitchen abilities, your open willingness to try new things, your spunky demeanor, your unmatched concern, your immeasurable faith, your unconditional commitment, and your endless support.

through every obstacle, every dim season in time...you always stood by my side, no matter what.

thank you for being my momma, mommy, mom, mother, playmate, teacher, coach, confidant, and friend.
you make me feel grateful, encouraged, comforted, reassured, blessed, and loved. i'm so glad God let me be your daughter. :)
(lots of lists...with lots of descriptors...with lots of meaning.)

i love you, momma. more than you could ever know.

"'many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.'
charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."
- proverbs 31:29-31.

"but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."
- joshua 24:15, NKJ.

days 29 & 30.

Your grace abounds in deepest waters;
Your sovereign hand will be my guide...
where feet may fail and fear surrounds me.
You've never failed, and You won't start now.

so i will call upon Your name...
and keep my eyes above the waves.
when oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace...
for i am Your's and You are mine.

Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders...
let me walk upon the waters, wherever You would call me.
take me deeper than my feet could ever wander,
and my faith will be made stronger...
in the presence of my Savior.
- hillsong UNITED.

my bff-trisha posted this to her blog a couple weeks ago...

and it seriously is my favorite song right now.

(total random ps--but...eggs, grilled ham, grits with red-eye gravy, and orange juice; ribs, corn on the cob, sweet cornbread, and sweet tea...it was only like the best-most Southern day for food ever.)

days 27 & 28: what's for dinner...??

the 21days of prayer & fasting, leading up to Mission Church's OFFICIAL KICKOFF Sunday gathering, has officially concluded.
(you can find out more about the fast here & here.)

the kickoff was awesome.
jonathan's message was awesome.
*hurley & the band's worship was awesome.
my announcements were awesome. (haha. just kidding.)
and we even had 95 people in attendance!!
granted...everything didn't go as perfectly smooth as maybe we would've liked, buuut...hey--it was our first sunday. :)
i'm so-incredibly excited for this church...what God has in store for it, for us, for the lives we touch.

DANIEL FAST!!
(here's what i predominantly ate on the daniel fast, that i also managed to snap a photo of...)

1. oatmeal with strawberries & pecans.
2. grits.
3. salad with tomatoes and vinaigrette dressing.
4. grilled zucchini.
5. plain, lightly salted rice cake with peanut butter & bananas.
6. apple chips.
7. oatmeal with pecans.
8. strawberries.
9. oatmeal with bananas.
10. sliced tomatoes with sliced avocados, balsamic vinegar & sea salt.
   (the best.) 
11. oatmeal with strawberries & pecans.
12. vegan, banana "ice cream".
   (i will share this recipe later.)
13. smoothie.
   (one banana, one c blueberries, 1/2 c water, and a handful of pecans.)
14. homemade tomato soup.
   (i'll be sure to share this recipe sometime.)
15. corn.
16. oatmeal with strawberries & blueberries.
   (i ate a lot of oatmeal. hahaha. just about every breakfast.)

i am thankful for this fast, the reminder to spend more time in prayer, the realizations had, and the ways God revealed Himself to me.
but i'll be honest...pizza never tasted so good.

*you can find hurley's music here & here...and if you come see us here. do it.

day 25 & 26.

GET PUMPED, YALL.

official kickoff event info HERE.

day 24.

today.
was.
beautiful.
oh my word.
80 degrees, yall.
there's just something about spring that livens me up.
it puts a spark back into my daily-life, a hop in my step, and a smile on my face.
it makes me want to do and be and live.
it inspires & motivates me.
it gives me the rejuvenation i so desperately need after wintertime.

(it also makes me extremely nostalgic, but we won't get into that...cause really--what else is new.)

"everything that's new has bravely surfaced,
teaching us to breath.
what was frozen through is newly purposed,
turning all things green.
so it is with You, and how You make me new...
with every season's change.
and so it will be, as You are recreating me...
summer, autumn, winter, spring."
- nichole nordeman, every season.

this song is powerful. and perfect.

(night, yall.)

days 22 & 23.

yesterday was my dad's 52nd birthday.

he has helped secure my foundation in the Lord.
he has helped teach me how to walk, how to ride a bike, how to drive.
he has helped coach my ball teams, and encourage me through every adventure & obstacle.
he has helped keep me laughing when things looked dim.
he has helped me to know that real faith, love, and hard work are the keys to success.
he has helped me to see what true love looks like.
he has helped me figure out how i want my future husband to treat me. (and the ones i love.)
he has helped me get a sense of the over-abundance in which my Heavenly Father loves me.

there is no doubt, i would not even be close to the person i am today without all his help along the way.
thank you, dad.
-for everything.
i love you more than words could say.

"as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him."
- psalm 103:13, NLV.

"the righteous who walks in integrity, blessed are his children after him."
- proverbs 20:7, ESV.

"as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."
- joshua 24:15, NKJ.

you taught me how to walk and how to dream.

God gave me your eyes, but it was you who showed me how to see.

now i can stand on my own, but i know you'll never let go.

i'll always be your baby, no matter how the years fly by...

the way you loved me made me who i am in this world.

i'm a woman now, not a little girl.

wherever this life takes me, i'll always be your baby.

- natalie grant.

day 21.

this song is my life right now.
i've come to learn that pretty much everything about me is a contradiction...besides my belief in the Lord.
but even my prayers--i will be asking the Lord for something that i am desperate about, and then end with telling Him that i know if my prayer isn't answered, it's because He has something better in mind.
(which does seem contradictory to me.)

over time, my prayers have become less about what i want/need/think should happen...but to trusting God that what He wants from me--and others is what is best anyway.
it is the result of life experiences...
learning that life is unfair.
life is hard.
life is painful.
but God is still good and faithful through it all.

that doesn't mean i don't cry out to God.
believe me, i do.
but there's a different sort of faith and trust involved now.
because i have been through some crap...that i couldn't understand why i was at the time (and for quite some time after), but with continuously seeking God...i had epiphanies and realizations. and that "crap" has consequently formed me into who i am today.
-and i am thankful to have moved past it all and significantly grown. because those experiences have shown me how undeniably God pulls through.

the gist of this song is sending a prayer up, and then concluding with the thought...
"but maybe not, not today...
maybe You'll provide in other ways,
and if that's the case...
we'll give thanks to You, with gratitude."

- nichole nordeman...from her woven & spun album.

lyrics: here.

days 13-20.

life just got crazy, folks.
this past week was a total blur.

from plannin & puttin on my best friend-becky's bridal shower.
to goin to my cousin-shay's high school musical.
to getting ready for mission church's official launch next sunday!!
to tryin to make it in time to hear my cousin-quincy's AMAZING mash-up her and her friend arranged and performed.
to attempting to keep up with my schoolwork.
to getting contacted about the philippines trip...

as you all know, i have been praying about this trip for over a year now...that the Lord would really place it on my heart, if i was supposed to go...that the Lord would not allow me to get accepted, if i wasn't supposed to go...that the Lord would provide for me to get me there.
i have contacted all members of my family (and a few close friends) to inform them as to what's going on, and to invite them to pray along with me.

last monday, i received a card from a sweet girl i went to high school with...
we were basically friendly acquaintances in high school, who were both involved in FCA so were aware of the other's belief in God.
we ran into each other last summer after haven't seeing one another for five years, taking each other's prayer requests, and then went our separate ways.
in january, she e-mailed me checking in on my prayer request. which was so amazing & powerful in itself...to know she had been praying that whole time. (and i got quite emotional over it.)
since then, we had continued to keep in touch.
when i mentioned this philippines opportunity to her, she wanted to know more...so i sent her the letter i had sent my family.

and then last monday, her card was encouraging me about this trip--how she had been praying for me, how God was going to use me. and she enclosed a check.
i just thought that was amazing.
she has totally been like Jesus to me these past few months.

steffi-

thank you so much. this all has meant way more than you know; i totally see Jesus in you.

i only hope one day i can bless you as you have blessed me.

when i checked my e-mail tuesday, i had received an e-mail on monday informing me that i had been ACCEPTED for the three-week trip!! (concluding with one of my favorite verses, Ephesians 3:20-21, to really encourage me.)

as i called mom & dad...and texted the rest of my family and friends, everyone was so excited for me.
when i called my grandparents, my grampa told me that he had woke up on monday thinking of & praying for me and this trip...sensing i would get word any day now. (and i did that very day. so crazy.)

i love seeing God in every-day scenes and events...and feeling His presence so overwhelmingly is more than i could ask for.
i have been exceedingly blessed by all the amazing people He has placed in my life.

day 11&12.

i've had a lot more talks this weekend about this 21days of prayer fast.
i think it has to do with the fact that yesterday, we celebrated with one of my best friend's at her bridal shower...and today, we celebrated two of my cousins' birthdays. both of which had incredible food...that i could not partake in.
whenever i had heard people complain about their fast, i would always be like "comeon." cause i mean...you're doing it for God; don't complain about it.
but this daniel fast is reeeally tough for me. and i get it now.
i've never fasted for anything besides lent...and i've never fasted any food of any kind besides dr. pepper one year.
so i really had no idea. (which goes back to my view on "judging" people...'i have no idea.' there's no way to possibly know what's going on and/or gone on in someone's life. giving grace is a beautiful challenge.)

i've come to a few realizations after my first week::
- i like food waaay too much.
- i eat food waaay too much.
- i eat waaay too much food when i eat.
- i am so spoiled that i can eat basically whatever i want at basically all times.
- my biggest complaint has been that i'm always hungry. and then i started thinking about how ridiculous it is because as i stuff my face with more and more food i can eat on this fast, complaining about how i can't possibly get enough to eat...people are literally dying that very moment from starving to death. it's a very sobering thought.
- this fasting process has definitely given me a (very small) glimpse at what others in third world countries go through. yes, i know it's not even CLOSE--becaaause...
     there's a time limit. (i know it's going to end...and,  for that matter, i could actually stop at any given time if i wanted or had to.)
     and i still have enough food to nourish me and satisfy to some degree.

i'm going to challenge myself for the remaining 14 days.
any complaining about the fast shall cease.

"wake up, all you sleepers.

stand up, all you dreamers.

hands up, all believers.

take up your cross; carry it on."

- all sons & daughters.

day 10: what's for dinner??

currently, i am doing the daniel fast for more time for reflection and prayer.

mission church is doing this 21days of prayer (and fasting) leading up to our official kick-off sunday!! (very exciting; hit me up for any details.)
today's prayvotional (from our lead follower-jonathan) is paired with the Message's version of Exodus 23:28-30.
"the constant assumption that you're going to get quick results will eat you up. regardless of what the world conditions you to think, if you stay faithful and patient God will lead you "little by little" to where you're supposed to be. confess your tendency to want to rush results. ask God for patience."

this time in my life is definitely trying my patience. i feel like there are a lot of things i am inevitably waiting for. it's enforcing even more the need to just trust and give it all to God. i'm thankful for this fast for even more consciousness to pray and spend time with God.

the daniel fast is definitely requiring me to get creative with my mealtimes, in order to satisfy my hunger while still getting the nutrients i need. it's also causing me to eat more often, (since my meals aren't as large and filling...what-with no bread or meat,) so i'm needing more snack-ish items at my dispense.

so--enjoy!!

APPLE CHIPS!!
(makes about two servings' worth. these are great to eat year-round!!)

this recipe calls for:
- two apples, sliced paper-thin.
- 4 c *water (optional: use 4 c apple juice/cider OR 1/4 c maple syrup instead.)
- 1 tsp *cinnamon (optional: use 1 tsp brown sugar, as well.)

directions:
- slice apples paper-thin (aka: as thin as you can get them. aka: use a mandolin, if you have one. using a knife becomes very tedious.)
- soak them in bowl of *water & *cinnamon for 10-12 minutes. (make sure water covers apples. use more if necessary.)
- lay apple slices flat & spread-out on a cooling rack in a cooking pan. (we had to get rid of our cooling rack, so i used our old grill-irons. ha.) the apples need to be able to breathe through both sides. (otherwise, you can tediously turn over each apple slice half-way through the bake time on wax paper for close to the same effect.)
- bake at 350F for 23-26 minutes. (i did 26.)
- remove from oven, turn heat off, and let oven cool down for about five minutes.
- put apples back in oven for about 8 minutes, so they can dry out further without burning.
-let cool, and chow down!!

**be sure to store in air-tight container to prevent staleness!!