day 9.

lately, i've been rather overwhelmed with the over-abundance of social media and the variety of ways to keep in contact with people/not keep in contact with people.

phone calls
texting
email #1
email #2
email #3
personal facebook
photography facebook
MC facebook
MC twitter
personal/photography instagram
MC instagram
personal blog
photography blog
MC blog

-and this does not include keeping up with/researching others' blog entries, instagrams, tweets, facebook posts, pinterest ideas. (nor any other i do not use.)

it's all so much noise. and clutter.

we get so caught up in other people's "lives", (or what they present their lives to be,) we don't actually interact with them; we don't actually live life with them. we are only observing it.
-and we're gonna look back and see it's passed us by.
24 years has flown by.
i am definitely overly nostalgic. this is a cause of looking into the past. i have so much of my life recorded in journals, photos, homevideos, and online archives (and tangible objects) that there are so many ways to look back.
-and i have found that i have the tendency to go into nostalgia-mode when things are looking dim. (cause a lot of times, it helps.)
-and i definitely am blessed that i can look back and feel nostalgic...
but i want to learn to look forward more. (yes, at times the future looks completely blurry or even darker, but...)
looking back is easier. it's familiar. you know what happened.
looking forward is entering the unknown. it's risky. it makes you break out of your comfort zone.
but if we only look back, we're not going to go anywhere.

so.
i started thinking...
if i can manage my time and make time for God...
and use every facet of social media to point to Him...
that is a good thing.

"from mountains to turquoise seas, you reign."
- paul klein.

day 8.

tomorrow (technically today, i suppose...) is the last day of february; that means it's just right around the corner when i find out if i'm accepted for this mission trip or not.
i truly feel that the Lord has placed this ministry and organization on my heart.

-however, if come find out i'm not accepted, and i'm not meant for it this go-around...
i know God has a plan.
maybe it was for me to be praying for them for a year and spreading the word about them to others who could pray for them. maybe going through the whole application process and waiting time was to prepare me for something else that i wouldn't have been prepared for otherwise.
this preparation period really has been wonderful and definitely brought me closer to God...and i'm so thankful for it.
when i think of where i was just over a year ago...(for one, it has the potential to make me sick. but for two...) it makes me sooooo thankful. because i couldn't be where i am, and how i am (wellness&emotion-wise) without the good Lord. and of course, the amazing support system He has blessed me with.
the time is over when i'm disconcerted at thinking back to where i was last year at "this time".
-and for that alone, i am so thankful.

i still do not know why it was necessary that i go through all that, (...for another time--and even more intensified,) but i do know that it brought me that much closer to the Lord.
it made me fully rely on Him.

all this to say...
no matter the Lord's reason for things, when we remain close to Him, He can teach us things we might not learn otherwise.
when we remain close to Him, He can heal us in ways we never imagined possible.

"take this life, so i can live.

teach my soul selflessness...

less of me and more of You.

bound my heart to what is true;

bound my heart to all of You.

when i try to go alone,

Your grace and mercy lead me home.

i have learned to count on You.

there is nothing You can't do.

i surrender, handing over...

all of my soul,

all of my heart

for all that You are.

nothing better, no greater offer..

all of our soul,

all of our heart

for all that You are.

this is my soul's melody.

i've abandoned all;

i'm done with me.

let this be the song i sing,

until i find eternity,

until my final breath leaves me."

-paul klein.

(be sure to check him out; he's great.)

day 5, 6, 7.

sorry for the two-day hiatus, yall.
all this snow has set me in a (much-needed) sense of reflection and stillness.

(i tweeted and instagrammed this photo for mission church earlier.)
whenever there's a snow, i'm always reminded to just be still...taking it all in--the beauty, the peacefulness, the unity of it all.

"be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him."
- psalm 37:7a, NIV.

"rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything, give thanks...this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
-1 thessalonians 5:16-18, NKJV.

at mission church these past three sundays, we have concentrated on Jesus's sermon in luke 4:18-19 (ESV)...
"the spirit of the Lord is upon me because He has anointed Me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recover sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." (i love it.)

using the Message's version, verse 19 states::

"this is God's year to act."

and i absolutely believe that to be true.

day 4.

TPDL, chapter 4

made to last forever.

this life is not all there is.

"...God has planted eternity in the human heart..."

- ecclesiastes 3:11, NLT.

you have an inborn instinct that longs for immortality. this is because God designed you, in His image, to live for eternity. even though we know everyone eventually dies, death always seems unnatural and unfair. the reason we feel we should live forever is that God wired our brains with that desire!! (interesting. i seriously have never thought about that before!!...and considering how reflective/over-analytical i am, that is actually rather rare.)

when you fully comprehend that there is more to life than here and now, and you realize that life is just preparation for eternity, you will begin to live differently. you will start living in light of eternity, and that will color how you handle every relationship, task, and circumstance.

when you live in light of eternity, your values change. your priorities are reordered.

the most damaging aspect of contemporary living is short-term thinking. to make the most of your life, you must keep the vision of eternity continually in your mind and the value of it in your heart.

frankly, the capacity of our brains cannot handle the wonder and greatness of heaven.

"no eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him."

- 1 corinthians 2:9, NLT.

we will enjoy unbroken fellowship with God. (so awesome.)

it's more than the opportunity of a lifetime; God offers you an opportunity beyond your lifetime. the Bible says, "the Lord's plans stand firm forever; His intentions can never be shaken."- psalm 33:11, NLT.

there is more to life than just here and now.

"and this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. but anyone who does what pleases God will live forever."

- 1 john 2:17, NIV.

book's question:

since [you were] made to last forever, what is the one thing [you] should stop doing and the one thing [you] should start doing today...??

my answer:

hmm...one of my biggest flaws is worrying. i think about things to the nth degree, instead of just giving it to God. (which we all know...worrying is completely pointless.) one of my favorite quotes-that i need to constantly think of is: "if you pray, why worry...?? if you worry, why pray...??" (if anyone knows who said that, i cannot seem to find it.)

Genesis 21-50

(to be cont...don't worry, i am not using the purpose driven life as my Bible, people. ;) my scheduled-monday will help get back on the 40-day guide track.)

(i guess, i wrote my own sort of purpose driven life synopsis here a little over a year ago...many things in my life have changed since then; these thoughts have not.)

day 3.

TPDL, chapter 3
what drives your life...??
we are products of our our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it.
God's purpose is not limited by your past.
God specializes in giving people a fresh start. (God's a god of mercy; God's a god of love...PRAISE the Lord, He's the god of second chances!!)

fear-driven people often miss great opportunities because they're afraid to venture out.
fear is a self-imposed prison that will keep you from becoming what God intends for you to be.
you must move against it with the weapons of faith and love.
"there is no fear in love...but perfect love drives out fear."
- 1 john 4:18, NIV.

knowing your purpose gives meaning to your life.
we were made to have meaning. (this is why people try dubious methods, like astrology or psychics, to discover it.) when life has meaning, you can bear almost anything; without it, nothing is bearable.
without God, life has no purpose; without purpose, life has no meaning; without meaning, life has no significance or hope.
the greatest tragedy is not death, but life without purpose.

"for i know the plans i have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
- jeremiah 29:11, NIV.

knowing your purpose simplifies your life.
it defines what you do and what you don't do.
without a clear purpose, you have no foundation on which you base decisions, allocate your time, and use your resources.
you will tend to make choices based on circumstances, pressures, and your mood at that moment.
if you can't get it all done, it means you're trying to do more than God intended for you to do.
living on purpose is the path to peace.

knowing your purpose focuses your life. (this is my favorite part...)
it concentrates your effort and energy on what's important.
you become effective by being selective.
"therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is."
- ephesians 5:17, NIV.
there is nothing quite as [powerful] as a focused life, one lived on purpose.
the men and women who have made the greatest difference in history were the most focused.
if you want your life to have impact, focus it!!

knowing your purpose prepares you for eternity.
living to create an earthly legacy is a short-sighted goal. a wiser use of time is to build an eternal legacy.
you weren't put on earth to be remembered.
you were put here to prepare for eternity. (BAM!!)

book's question:
what would [your] family and friends say is the driving force of [your] life...?? what do [you] want it to be...??
my answer:
i would hope they would have the same answer as me...that the driving force in my life is my faith in the Lord. i am perfect, by no means...but even so, i never lose faith--because i know i can keep on truckin with the Lord.

Genesis 21-50

(to be cont...don't worry, i am not using the purpose driven life as my Bible, people. ;) i so-extensively covered this chapter anyway that yall probably wouldn't have the patience to continue to read any more.)

(i guess, i wrote my own sort of purpose driven life synopsis here a little over a year ago...many things in my life have changed since then; these thoughts have not.)

day 2.

Genesis 11-20
-NIV. (i am following this 40-day guide...with my own modifications based on health and timing.)

"then the Lord said to abraham 'why did sarah laugh and say, "will i really have a child now that i am old??" is anything too hard for the Lord??'" 18:14
-this just makes me smile. because--duh...no. ha. i just love it.

while reading, i definitely just feel a sense of God's wrath and...the need for me to be so entirely "God-fearing".
there has been so much sin...even from the very beginning, and reading from a third-party perspective, i am so shocked--but no doubt is what goes on these days so much more significantly worse.
'makes me so sad.

TPDL, chapter 2
you are not an accident.
"i am your Creator. you were in My care even before you were born."
- isaiah 44:2, CEV.

your birth was no mistake or mishap, and your life is no fluke of nature. your parents may not have planned you...but God did.
while there are illegitimate parents, there are no illegitimate children. (i love that.)
it is not fate, nor chance, nor luck, nor coincidence that you are breathing at this very moment.

"You know me inside and out, You know every bone of my body; You know exactly how i was made, bit by bit, how i was sculpted from nothing into something."
- psalm 139:15, MSG.

the Bible tells us "God is love." (1 john 4:16) it doesn't say God has love. He IS love!!
love is the essence of God's character.
"long before He laid down earth's foundations, He had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of His love..." (mmm...so-so good.)
- ephesians 1:4, MSG.

"God decided to give us life through the word of truth, so we might be the most important of all things He made."

-this is how much God loves and values you!!

there is a God who made you for a reason, and your life has profound meaning!! we discover that meaning and purpose only when we make God the reference point of our lives.
"the only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what He does for us."
-romans 12:3, MSG.

God is not haphazard; He planned it all with great precision. (amen.)

book's question: [you] know that God uniquely created [you]. what areas of [your] personality, background, and physical appearance [are you] struggling to accept...??
my answer: growing up...i was the epitome of the feeling of "not enough butter scraped over too much bread." i was involved in way too much...by my own choice. this has followed me throughout time, whether or not i got less busy. my greatest struggle is probably the "fear" of not living up to my potential and letting down those who love me, including God.

(i guess, i wrote my own sort of purpose driven life synopsis here a little over a year ago...many things in my life have changed since then; these thoughts have not.)

day 1.

Genesis 1-10
- NIV. (i am following this 40-day guide...however the next few days i have a lot of time to read, so i will be reading genesis 11-27 tomorrow.)

"in the beginning, God created." 1:1
-that's all we need right there.
in the BEGINNING...GOD... (He was there AT the very beginning.)...CREATED. (He created it all. everything. for His purpose,  from His imagination.)

"God said 'let there be light!!' and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness." 1:3-4 (i love the symbolism here too.)
"then God said, 'let Us make man in our image, in our likeness'...so God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them, 'Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it." 1:26a, 27-28
"God saw all that he had made, and it was very good."1:31

"the Lord God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being."2:7
"the Lord God said 'it is not good for man to be alone. i will make a helper suitable for him.'" 2:18

TPDL, chapter 1
it all starts with God.
the purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness.
focusing on ourselves will never reveal our life's purposes.

you exist only because God wills that you exist.
"all things have been created through Him and for Him."

- colossians 1:16, NIV.

you were made BY God FOR God.

life is about letting God use you for HIS purposes, not your using Him for your own purpose.

"obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life."
- romans 8:6, MSG.

"it's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, He had His eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose He is working out in everything and everyone."
- ephesians 1:11-23, MSG.

book's question: in spite of all the advertising around [you], how can [you] remind [yourself] that life is really about living for God, not [you]...??
my answer: i think that not spending my time consumed with thoughts of myself is crucial; by not *dwelling on things that are not of my concern...or not *dwelling on anything negative, for that matter, (be it my own circumstance, life event, relationships, human-acceptance, body-image, fitting in with the "status quo", life direction,) i-in turn-don't think about ME as much--which i think is very important to learn in life. it can be a hard idea to grasp...but i think everyone is capable of it. the brain is a very powerful thing. (you will hear me say this a lot.) don't get me wrong, there are times when i have thoughts about myself-obviously, but once i latched onto that concept (of specifically not *dwelling), there was no forgetting it--and it is so, incredibly beneficial and life-changing.

(i guess, i wrote my own sort of purpose driven life synopsis here a little over a year ago...many things in my life have changed since then; these thoughts have not.)

"the world's so big, it can break your heart...
and you just wanna help, not sure where to start...
so you close your eyes, and send up a prayer into the dark.

the smallest thing can make all the difference.

love is alive.

don't listen to them when they say::

you're just a fool, just a fool to believe you can change the world..."

-carrie underwood.

love--it washes over;
love--it pulls me closer;
love--it changes everything.

everything is beautiful...
even when the tears are falling.
i don't need a miracle to believe.
even in the crashing down,
i can hear redemption calling...
and everything is beautiful to me.
-starfield.

(my 40-days of reading starts wednesday. :) get excited.)

"and if our God is for us,

then who could ever stop us??

and if our God is with us,

then what could stand against??" 
-chris tomlin.

God is omniscient.

"power in hand speaking the Father's plan...
You're sending us out, light in this broken land.

all authority,
every victory
is Your's.

Savior, worthy of honor and glory,
worthy of all our praise...
You overcame.
Jesus, awesome in power forever,
awesome and great is Your name...
You overcame.

we will overcome by the blood of the Lamb...
and the word of our testimony.
everyone overcome."
-jeremy camp.

my girl-hurley led us in singin this song at Mission Church on sunday...and i just love it.
-and then it came on in the car tonight on the way to the grocery store...
of course, i love worshipping at church on sunday, but there's just somethin about worshipping in the seemingly "oddest of places" at the seemingly "oddest of times" when it's just me and God.
strictly listening to Christian music during this time of lent allows me to spend so much more time with God...that i'd usually just be zoning out during.
it's those times driving in the car, or getting ready in my room, or doing the dishes when God breaks through barriers or gives me epiphanies, and i break down because most of the time i don't see it coming!!
-and i just love that.
those are some of the most special times.
the intimate times just between me and God.

most days we get too caught up with "life" that it's easy to let the days get away from us without really knowing what we did--or why we did it.
it's too easy to not make time for God.
but through this intentional act of giving up secular music, i have been able to reflect on God sporadically throughout the entire day (because i'll have you know, i am constantly listening to music)...and it's amazing how much it has already helped me relax and just dwell in the knowing that He's got it aaalllll under control.

i'm tellin, yall...
God knows what's up.

"well, i've been treated like a valentine...
that's been ripped apart and left behind.
i'm a fragile girl in a crazy, careless world.
my dreams were torn and scattered on the floor,
but You've been picking up the pieces, Lord...
cause Your love is real,
the only hope to heal.

my paper heart is Your's now;
i have landed in Your hands.
'come so far to find out...
my life will never be the same,
since You wrote Your name
on my paper heart.

i had been so terrified to trust...
so many times i'd been reduced to dust,
but you keep showing me
You're the safest place to be."
-francesca battistelli.

i have been listening to her cd since Christmas...and in response to being single on valentine's day, this is a perfect song for me. :) ever since junior high, the idea of "being married to God" has really resonated with me, and i've always strived to let the thought consume me.
which i believe has helped me never be this boy-crazy girl who always needed a boyfriend--because i always knew that wasn't what it was all about; i just let God always fill the void.
and for learning that as early on as i did, i am extremely grateful.
of course, i've had heartbreaks......and bad ones.
but on the occurrence of those break-ups, i've always turned to the Lord and allowed Him to hold me. (like literally imagined Him holding me, until i could feel Him.)

(i know i am going out of Bible-order here, but it's too applicable not to touch on...)
i've always loved the verse:
"peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives. do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid." - John 14:27

i love that so much..."I do not give as the world gives." because God's omnipotence is unfathomable...He is capable of anything. if we would just ALLOW Him to give us that peace, HIS peace--a peace like we've never known...such a loving, selfless, and unconditional gift that God w.a.n.t.s us to have...it WILL consume us.

"caring for each other."

my friend-lauren is a great-great girl, friend, daughter, role model, 

Christ-follower, human being. (i will save her full my-friends-are-talented story for another day--cause it's a long one, but...)

she shared this video of a family she's worked with for a couple years now, (who go to the church we grew up in,) by helping care for lindsay, spending time with her, going to camp with her, etc.

i have always loved all the stories and photos she has shared about lindsay...and it really warms my heart to have seen her grow through it all.

this video is SO touching and SO precious and will SO make you cry...

so get ready.

(i will just let it speak for itself...but what a Godly and incredibly special family.)

i hope it inspires you...

move me, Lord.

sorry, for the almost-week hiatus...
sunday was Mission Church's FIRST-EVER sunday gathering; it was so, incredibly exciting.
i cannot WAIT to see how God moves in this vision.
(do not hesitate to ask about the church if you have any questions, whatsoever.)

in regards to my last post, TOMORROW is lent. :)
i came across this article/blog post today, and was even more encouraged because it provided me with the 40-day-Bible-reading guide i will be using.

just like margaret feinberg, i encourage you to pray and meditate over the decision to do this beneficial challenge with me.
i'm so excited to see the many ways God works in my life these next days of lent, and all the days to come.

in commemoration...

it's exactly one week before lent-season, yall--and i thought i'd share my plans with you.

even though i am not Catholic, i observe the lent-season because it is still a very symbolic time.
for those of you unfamiliar with lent...it is a time when believers fast (food...or any type of conscious luxury) as a form of "penitence".
i fast certain things that i consciously think about, so while i'm not partaking in them i can think about/spend time with the Lord instead.
i participate to strengthen my walk with Christ.

this lent-season, i will be doing a few things in observance...
-only listen to Christian music. this had such a great effect on me last year. a huge impact. i am seriously a believer in it. (if you can do it, i strongly suggest it.)
-read through the purpose driven life in a timely matter. (aka: so it lasts the forty days.) and blog book review at the end of it. (i've had this book since junior high youthgroup and never got through it.)
-read through the Bible in an equally timely matter.
-blog every single day...could be something deep about how God is speaking to me/working through me...could be a lesson learned, epiphany i had, a solid point, an impacting verse, a great quote, or a song lyric. anything that spoke to me that day--that could potentially speak to someone else.
(i will also be doing one more thing that you-my reader may or may not be effected (and affected) by...it is a secret for now, but i will probably re-cap at the very end.)

i'm really excited for it all!! i just love all of these ideas.
:) might sound silly...cause i could technically do this whenever, but the symbolism just gets me.

all of this is to SEEK God.
all of this to make my days less about me.

it is amazing how when you truly do seek God...you find Him.
you see Him.
you hear Him.
you feel His presence, and your will really does become His.
you begin to see life more through His eyes. (as best a human can.)

i have experienced this closeness sporadically throughout my life as a Christ-follower.
there are days, though, when i don't necessarily feel His presence...but i still know that He's there.
-those hard times just make me seek him all the more, resulting in greater closeness.

my 24th birthday is this friday.
there have been moments recently where i have realized that i like getting older, that maturing--is maturing as a Christian.
and i love it.

"there is a difference between devotion to principles
and devotion to a person.
hundreds of people today are devoting themselves to phases of truth,
to causes.
Jesus Christ never asks us to devote ourselves to a cause or a creed;
He asks us to devote ourselves to Him."

- oswald chambers.

my summer's mission trip application is all finished and sent in.

now...
pray.
pray.
pray.

i have prayed on this trip for a year now, that it would be God's will for me to go...and it has lingered in my heart for its entirety.
i am praying i am accepted.
i am praying that somehow in some way the Lord will provide the money to go. (a legitimate income-obtaining job would help.)
i am praying that if i am not accepted, other doors will open up for me to go elsewhere this summer--or possibly even longer.
i am praying that God's will and desires will become so innate in me
that they become my own.
i am praying to allow God to work in me until then (and thereafter), transforming me into who He has created me to be.
i am continuously praying and seeking God...because i want to, because i need to, because i have to.

i yearn for the day when i feel like i am truly doing exactly what God has created me to do.
i yearn to feel that contentment.

but until then...i will seek God, searching for it.

"show me Your ways, oh Lord; teach me Your paths; guide me in Your truth, and teach me...for You are God-my Savior, and my hope is in You. all--day--long."
- psalm 25:4-5, NIV.

(i will not find out if i am accepted until march; i will keep yall posted and give you more information when that time comes.)