Dear Momma:

MOMMA

you've instilled in me:
a thirst for creativity
a spirit of imagination
a yearning to be outside
a responsibility to work hard
a talent for finding the positive and alternative in every situation
an affection for nostalgia
a (seemingly) contradictory taste in classic rock and gospel
a joy in trying new things and going new places
a passion for competition
a freedom to be silly
an eagerness to learn
a priority in loyalty
an emphasis in honesty
an attention to details
a love for entertaining
an importance in serving others
a requirement for homemade meals
a necessity to communicate
an innate ability to be myself
a strength to be confident
a devotion to family
a foundation to faith
an intensity to love with my whole heart
a life of goodness.

i hope today is perfect for you.
i'm thankful we can spend it together.

Happy Mother's Day.

i am not a mother...

i am not a mother.
i have a mother.and i love her dearly.i also love holidays.but...as i have experienced and been aware of significant pain & loss my entire life...through the joy of a holiday, it is often interwoven with pain and confusion, as the roller-coaster of conflicted emotions emerge.

*i am not posting this on mother's day--because i celebrate my mother (and all mothers, literal and metaphorical) gladly...and i don't want to be a debbie-downer on the love and appreciation that can come with the day.

however, anne's sentiments...(with some statements slightly more intense than my own perspective)...are important to note. 

here are my sentiments:
there are already people dreading this weekend...
the mothers who've lost a child.
the daughters/sons who've lost a mother.
the sons who've lost a mother--but still want to celebrate the mother of his child.
the women who've had miscarriages or stillbirths.
the women who are unable to physically bear a child.
the women who've put their baby up for adoption.
the daughters/sons who've been put up for adoption.
the daughters/sons who're living in foster care.
the women who've chosen abortion.
the mothers who are not close to their child, in proximity.
the daughters/sons who are not close to their mother, in proximity.
the mothers who are not close to their child, relationally.
the daughters/sons who are not close to their mother, relationally.
the mothers & daughters/sons who've become estranged.
the mothers who feel they aren't good enough mothers.
the mothers who weren't (or feel they weren't) good enough mothers.
the daughters/sons who were raised by negligent/selfish/abusive/toxic mothers.
the mothers who're now divorced and split time with their child.
the step-mothers who are trying to figure it all out and/or still feel they aren't good enough for their step-child.
the daughters/sons who are part of blended families.
the single dads who should receive double-holiday recognition.
the mothers whose child is ill.
the daughters/sons whose mother is ill.
the women who've not yet found someone they've fallen for, but desperately want a child.
the women who're racing "the clock".
the women who have helped raise children who are not their own, out of love/responsibility/obligation/what-have-you.
the grandmothers who've taken on the "mother" role.
the women who do not feel equipped to have a child--but continue to hear that one has not experienced love till one becomes a mother.
the daughters/sons who thankfully has their mother--but has to navigate through words and feelings because their mother has lost her mother and a child.
-the list goes on & on...

this day can be extremely difficult. (as can every holiday.)
let us be aware of our words--and respectful of what we post on social media.

EARTH DAY!!

leave it to a holiday to inspire me to write...
i love holidays.
i love having a reason to celebrate.
i love focusing on something specific and dressing, eating, drinking, celebrating accordingly.
very event-oriented, i am...

that being said, i love earth day.
i love the earth, i love the outdoors, i love the fresh air, i love trees, i love flowers, i love fruits & vegetables, i love gardens, i love picnics, i love mountains, i love fields, i love rain...i love it.

(but at the price of feeling so strongly about holidays (earth day, included), i feel guilty the days surrounding i do not focus on the aspects once so-celebrated.)
THIS earth day, i was stuck inside working, sad i could not visit the farmer's market and eat my finds on a checked-blanket at the park--yet remained inspired with the magic of the day, as my brain whirled with the thoughts for this post...and the fact that, yes, every day can be earth day. here are a few of my specific year-round loves + new tips i am striving to adopt.

IN REGARDS TO FOOD...
- go to the farmer's market!! (or if you live in kansas like me, drive down the road to a local selling their produce off the side of the road.) :)

FM with mom, perfect peaches, FM with the boys & dad, mouth-watering tomatoes, farmer cole, mom getting some goods at the FM.

- eat local, organic, and in-season.

shelling purple hulls with mom, weston apple orchard, osceola cheese, bulk it with nicholas, heirloom, and the peach truck!

- buy whole foods, and make your own meal. (no product placement here, the actual adjective.)

homemade apple chips, radish tea sandwiches, blackberry cobbler, fresh-pressed orange juice, my new favorite recipe, oatmeal & fruit, homemade tomato soup.

- use reusable tote bags when...toting.

IN REGARDS TO WATER...
- filter/purify your own!!
- use cold water to wash your food/clothes/self, as much as you can.
- take showers, not baths.

IN REGARDS TO HOME...
- plant a garden!! (and make your own compost.)

baby coley & me with my first garden.

- turn off heat/AC during the nice months.
- take advantage of that daylight!!
- unplug and turn off electric appliances when not in use.
- use natural cleaners on your homes/selves. (whether it's making your own like this, this, or this...or using eco-friendly/toxin-free brands like this, this, this, or this!)
- give back, and plant a tree!! (not possible? try filling your home with air-purifying plants.)

IN REGARDS TO TRANSPORTATION...
- carpool as often as you can.
- avoid traffic, slow down, and keep those tires inflated.
- and when possible, ride your bike!!

dad teaching me to ride a bike...whilst actually riding my bike.

IN REGARDS TO CLOTHING...
- make your own!!
- buy from local and/or small business.

this beauty--that is sadly, no longer.

- if neither of those are options, buy used as much as possible. (thrift stores, antique malls, yard/garage/estate sales, flea markets, etc.)

is there anything better than antiquing/thrifting with the ones you love?

IN REGARDS TO FUN... (you mean, besides what i've already addressed...??)
- read a book.
- have a picnic.

a perfect day at shawnee mission park.

- go to the lake and kayak, fish, swim.

kayaking with the fam.

- go to the park.

"vintage" deanna rose park.

- go on a hike.

yellowstone, smokies, and rockies.

- play some yardgames!

croquet your heart out, quinny.

*anything you love doing, if possible, try doing it outside...catch some fresh oxygen and vitamin d, while developing an appreciation and wonder in mother earth.

learn about some KC local beekeepers here,  here, and here.

AND OF COURSE, reduce--reuse--recycle.

the next twelve months.

i love making lists.
i love making plans.
probably has something to do with the fact i just love letters & words & uniformity.

i also love holidays.
i love celebrations.
i love the different types of traditions and meanings behind each one.

there's always this stigma about new years resolutions...
why is there such negativity surrounding it...??
the whole reason for them are for a fresh start, for new beginnings, for...hope...really.
and yet, there's always these cliched, pessimistic statements & thoughts correlated.

i say...
WHATEVER.
let the haters hate.
(and yes, that has also turned into a cliched statement.)

i. LOVE. new years resolutions.
i love thinking about all the delicious foods i can make, all the beautiful projects i can create, all the breathtaking places i can go, all the precious souls i can love on.
and even if i don't get them all done, i got SOME done...i did SOMEthing.
what's life without goals & hopes & dreams...
what's life without new creations...??

so...this year, i am going with themes.
BODY.
SOUL.
MIND.
SPIRIT.
*each aspect of my life deserves more attention...and i'm at the age now, where i can recognize when each need it. i have realized that, though i feel like taking care of others & making others happy, is more important than taking care of myself & making myself happy...i don't have as much energy or tolerance to do so; i have come to find that count rugen's sentiment (below) reigns true...and that by helping myself, i can help others more.

BODY.

drink water.

consume a glass each morning when i rise, a glass (if not more) at each meal, and a glass before each movie/tv episode i indulge in.

*meme cred: the princess bride.

SOUL.

be still.

find oneness with the present moment. practice mindfulness. reflect on the Lord.

look around you."the sky above proclaims his handiwork."

MIND.

read literature.

read (at least) one book a month. reflect on what i've read. write about what i've read, including the thoughts that have emerged because of it.

*taken from anne lamott's "Help, Thanks, Wow".

SPIRIT.

create.

photograph. write. craft. design.

*photo cred: lauren ashley kilber.

BODY/SOUL/MIND/SPIRIT.

manage stress.

exhibit greater self-control. schedule. budget. organize. set goals & plans (like this post!!). follow through.

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