#prayforthephilippines.

as all you readers know, i went on a missional/evangelical trip to the philippines this summer. (read about here, here, and HERE.)
after hearing of/seeing the devastation of this super typhoon haiyan (or yolanda, as the filipinos are calling it,) on top of the earthquake that hit the philippines just three weeks before, i have been completely devastated myself. literally crying out to the Lord in desperation for these people that hold so much of my heart now.
if you are not up to date on the tragedy, here are some current (and concise) statistics i compiled for you:
the most powerful storm in history, typhoon haiyan's current death toll is at 3,976 people with 18,175 injured and 1,598 missing. 4 million people have been displaced, and 11 million have been affected. (5 million of those are children; 1.5 million of those are under the age of five.)

if you would like to HELP…and SERVE by giving…and reach out to the poor, downtrodden, broken-hearted, and the "least of these" trying to survive this tragedy…here are a plethora of options for you:

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- the filipino association of greater kansas city is collecting goods here till this friday, the 22nd to ship over. (more info here and here.)

- action against hunger:: donate toward saving lives and restoring livelihoods here.

- american red cross:: donate toward helping those affected by the typhoon here. also partnering with iTunes, make a donation here.

- americares:: donate toward giving suffering filipino families lifesaving aid here.

- BTEA:: donate toward the organization i was involved with this summer and deliver relief and Christ's message of hope here. (james 1:22.)

- child fund intl:: donate toward aiding children and their families here.

- direct relief:: donate toward providing and delivering medical aid for current typhoon victims and additional flood relief supplies here.

- habitat for humanity:: donate toward rebuilding the homes of those that were destroyed here.

- heart to heart:: donate toward delivering aid and relief to those affected here. if you are a medical professional willing to travel to the philippines, visit here. provide care kits to the filipinos in need HERE!!

- intl rescue committee:: donate toward mobilizing a humanitarian response to the typhoon by way of clean water, healthcare, and other urgent needs here.

- mercy corps:: donate toward providing desperate families with food, water, shelter, and other basic supplies here.

- operation blessing intl:: donate toward providing food, water, medical care, and other critical relief to the typhoon victims here.

- oxfam:: donate toward providing typhoon victims with essential needs but also the building of emergency latrines, mobile water treatment units, and installation of tanks and taps to deliver clean water here.

- plan intl:: donate toward delivering aid to the needs of children and their families, including food, water, shelter, sanitation, medical supplies, educational resources, and emotional/psychosocial support here.

- save the children:: donate toward protecting and helping children and their families with emergency assistance here.

- shelterbox:: donate toward helping provide a shelter, warmth, and dignity to those who have lost everything here.

- water missions intl:: donate toward bringing safe water and critical relief to those in need here.

- world vision:: you can text HOPE to 777444 to donate $10 toward donations of food, clean water, emergency shelter. or if you're feeling $10 is not enough, donate here.

- unicef:: you can text RELIEF to 864233 to donate $10 toward giving shelter, clean water, medicine, and nutrition to the five million children affected by this typhoon. or if you're feeling $10 is not enough, donate here.

- the salvation army:: you can text TYPHOON to 80888 to donate $10 toward sorting, shipping, and distributing donated goods. or if you're feeling $10 is not enough, donate here.

- international medical corps:: you can text MED to 80888 to donate $10 toward donations of food, clean water, and medicine. or if you're feeling $10 is not enough, donate here.

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matthew 25:35-40.
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-and don't forget to pray.

it's more fun in the philippines, yall.

(click on all the photos to expand them!!)

my trip has come to an end.
as yall read in my initial post, i prayed about going on this trip for over a year & a half...to make sure it was where God wanted me to be, when He wanted me to be there--and that in whatever way, He would provide for me to get there. (and the prayers worked, people.)
i am so thankful i was that mentally & spiritually prepared for it. i have done a lot of mission work in the past, be it other mission trips, service projects, or even everything with Mission Church thus far. but everything has basically been work & service oriented. THIS trip, however, was strictly evangelical--which is why i felt more called to it. i wasn't as comfortable in the area of evangelizing.
i've never had a problem sharing MY faith, but sharing the Gospel--and knowing when to share it...i wasn't experienced in. so i knew this specific mission trip would stretch me spiritually, and BOY did it.
we went from school to school to school, preaching in each classroom...five days a week, for about twelve hours a day.
our team was made up of 60+ Americans paired with Filipino pastor-translators; and after five weeks, we were able to minister at 1,551 schools in the Philippines!!
699,751 people heard the Gospel...and out of those, 676,833 accepted Christ into their hearts right then & there!! it was so amazing. just to witness these children hearing the story of Jesus for the first time, seeing their excitement & joy from hearing how much God loves them, and then watching them fold their little hands and hear their precious prayers to ask Jesus into their hearts. it was so powerful.
something that really hit me hard when i was there was just how awesome God is--obviously...but that His story is simple enough for young children like these to grasp (even with the language barrier)--yet complex enough for scholars to study a lifetime.
and how no matter who we are, at whatever stage of life we're in...we still yearn to be loved--and loved unconditionally. it's universal because that's the way God created us to be.

one weekend we got to go to the organization's orphanage. leading up to the trip, this was definitely what i was looking forward to the most. the orphanage was founded in 1991, as a Christian home for orphaned Filipino children. some of these children (including infants) were picked up/dropped off here by either their parents or some form of social services because their families couldn't support them.
we had the privilege of playing with the children--and also interviewing them. i loved hearing how much they loved being at this orphanage. most of the new & young ones stated how their favorite part of being there was food...getting food (that could be both delicious & nutritious.) which was heartbreaking.
but all of the older ones who had been there most of their lives stated how their favorite part about being there was that the organization was centered around God. that really touched my heart...that at such a young age, after facing so much heartache--they still could have such perspective.

this child's name is dwayne. and he completely stole my heart.
the moment we got changed into our "play clothes", he just jumped on my back--no hesitation whatsoever--and followed me, or drug me around by the hand causing me to follow him the rest of the weekend.

the entire experience was more than amazing; i am just sooo blessed to have had this opportunity. the fact that Jesus could use me--this average, 24-year old girl, with no scholarly theological background, to tell His story to these precious children who might never hear it again...and get this many more souls into His Kingdom is beyond humbling, and really...just downright addicting.
every prayer since the trip, i have prayed--not only for all the children we spoke to--but that God would continue to use me to further this work according to His will--and somehow take me back there...and that through my experiences, i can encourage everybody i know to go on this trip. (haha...but seriously. everybody should go on this trip!!)

i want to thank everyone who encouraged me, prayed for me, and supported me along the way. i really cannot say thank you enough.
truly.
much love & God bless!!
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- Mark 10:45 - Luke 10:2 - Matthew 28:19-20 -

needless to say...

it is exactly one week from today (well, technically yesterday now--this always happens,) that i will be on my way to the philippines.

- for the fourth, we had the whole foster-fam over to our house for burgers, croquet, and homemade ice cream. we took a trip to watch a fireworks show, went back to gramma & grampa's to shoot off some ourselves, and then the bros & i rounded out the day with a necessary viewing of sandlot.

- yesterday, i got to hang out with mom all day running errands for my trip, and she gifted me a new skirt i can wear over there. then i got to hang out as the fab-five last night to eat at a new restaurant and see lone ranger.

- tonight, my friends threw me a surprise going-away party (with letters for my trip, a devotional, lent skirts, and a metaphorical plant to boot.) ;)

and when i got home, my room was significantly picked up--thanks to mom.

needless to say, i am beyond blessed.

ridiculously blessed.

overwhelmingly blessed.

i was overwhelmingly overwhelmed...just with everything i still have left to do before i leave in six-days time, (i'll spare you the list,) and just with the trip in itself.

but coming home tonight...i just felt so overwhelmingly blessed. goodness.

in twelve days, i will be flyin to the philippines.

crazy.
seriously.
i've been officially nervous for the past two weeks now.
besides the fact i still have so much stuff i need to do and get before i go...i still feel unprepared--and i suppose i always will, and that's why i need to just go for it.
(sigh.) but seriously.
my devotions a couple nights ago::
"God asks us to go outside our comfort zones to do things for Him, to reach out in love and help others.
whether you're a missionary in a country far from home--or have a job at a local restaurant, God calls you to live out your salvation regardless of your circumstances. God also promises to give us the strength to do what he asks."
BOOM. how's that for a slap-in-the-face reality check...??
i think a big thing is that i haven't met any of the folks to know what their expectations really are...??
pray-pray-pray.
i hope (and pray) that everything just works out according to God's will. (sigh.)

scriptures/quotes that have kept my sanity as of late...encouraging me about this phase of my life and this upcoming trip::
proverbs 3:5-6.
joshua 1:9.
romans 8:28.
luke 10:2.
matthew 28:19-20. (of course.)
*and my "mantra" from the very beginning of this journey:: mark 10:45.
(i could go on.)

"it takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. but there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. there is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement--there is life, and in change--there is power."
- alan cohen.

"people look at our lives and hear us say we're Christians...but then see very little difference in us that would make them want the supposed hope & joy we have.
it's not that we're trying to impress people with how great we are; it's that we're trying to impress on people how great JESUS is.
we've got the greatest message in the world; let's not make it harder than it has to be for people to realize how great it is." (mmm. amen.)
- steven furtick.

"trust in HIS timing; rely on HIS promises; wait for HIS answers; believe in HIS miracles; rejoice in HIS goodness; relax in HIS presence."
closing with...james 4:8:
"come near to God, and He will come near to you."

those rare Christians
whose very presence incites others to be better Christians.
i want to be that rare Christian.
- a.w. tozer.

what's for DINNER?!?

for mother's day every year, the whole big family gets together to celebrate gramma and each of the moms/aunts altogether.

since all of the grandkids are getting older now, the idea for the kids to make their moms desserts was thrown out there this year.

mom's not a huge dessert person...she likes vegetables.

but she does like herself some blackberry cobbler. so i acquiesced to her request. (even though i'm not the biggest pie/cobbler fan. it was for her after all!!)

-paired it with blue bell's homemade vanilla, and it turned out to be a big hit amongst the mothers.

BLACKBERRY COBBLER!!

(makes about nine-ten servings.)

this recipe calls for:

- 4 c blackberries

- 3/4 c sugar

- 1/4 c flour

- 2 tbsp butter

- 4-5 tsp lemon juice

(this time around, i just used two pillsbury pie crusts...instead of homemade. don't judge me.)

directions:

- toss flour & 1/2 c sugar with berries.

- pour mixture into pan with bottom crust.

- drizzle lemon juice evenly over mixture.

- pour 1/4 c sugar evenly over mixture.

- dot with butter (cut into small pieces).

- cover with top crust.

- sprinkle sugar evenly over top crust.

- bake at 350F for about 45 minutes, or until lightly browned.

*make sure the top crust has some sort of slits/cuts/openings to allow steam to escape. (i went for a woven lattice-look for fun. if i'm not going to looove eating it, i might as well make it look pretty. but i will admit, this recipe is one of the better cobblers i've had.)

growing up, i had to have an "i don't care what you think of me" attitude...because i knew i was a good kid, with good intentions & actions & thoughts. and even so, people have always thought whatever they wanted about me.

i have had multiple people who are my friends now say when they first met me, they thought i was completely opposite than how i really am.

i have had rumors spread around school about me that were completely (completely) untrue. (with not even a possibility that someone could have been even remotely correct or even misunderstood. they had just made them up.)
and so at one point in my life, i would have described myself as insensitive...
-in the way that...i am sarcastic; i don't take myself--or statements others would say too seriously.
i also grew up in a simultaneously loving yet sarcastic environment. (my immediate family, and both sides of extended.) so i was not as keen to other people's perceptions of what i say because i knew i wasn't serious anyway.
i had to learn what this quote meant before it was ever written::
"don't take anything personally. nothing others do is because of you. what others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. when you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering."
- miguel angel ruiz.
obviously, i have learned to absorb the criticisms, ridicule, and "incite" others present to an extent...while, at some point, ridding my being of the needless negativity. and certain relationships along the way have opened my eyes to how "sensitive" a person can be. (and since i don't want to make anyone upset, i have appropriately adhered...in a way to better understand, empathize, and considerately care for people.)

however...i came across this quote today...and it is like describing me. to a t. in every respect.
(so perhaps proclaiming insensitivity was entirely wrong.)::
"the highly sensitive tend to be philosophical or spiritual in their orientation, rather than materialistic or hedonistic. they dislike small talk. they often describe themselves as creative or intuitive. they dream vividly, and can often recall their dreams the next day. they love music, nature, art, physical beauty. they feel exceptionally strong emotions--sometimes acute bouts of joy, but also sorrow, melancholy, and fear. highly sensitive people also process information about their environments--both physical and emotional--unusually deeply. they tend to notice subtleties that others miss--another person's shift in mood, say, or a lightbulb burning a touch too brightly."
- susan cain.

dear, blogging community.

to all those who read; to all those who care...

iMISSblogging.
ugh.
i cannot wait till the week is over, and then i can start back up again...i already have four great posts lined up. (unfortunately my ocd with photo-editing/copy editing prolongs this process.)
not one, not two, but three 'what's for dinners'...and one 'thrifty thursday' comin atcha.
get your party pants on.

my heart wants roots.
my mind wants wings.
i cannot bear
their bickerings.
- e.y. harburg.

check out my guest blog post today, over on Mission Church's website!!

what's for dinner?!?

after the fast, i definitely went a little crazy scarfing down what i hadn't eaten for forty days...and suffered the consequence. (i decided to cut back on gluten, to see if it could cut back on my stomach problems...and i think it's definitely helped.)
i had discovered these muffins during the fast, and although they are considered "vegan", they still have sugar (granulated and in the chocolate chips), so i had to refrain for the time being.

i love these. so much.
i've made them twice already.

BANANA CHOCOLATE-CHIP MUFFINS!!
(makes about 12 muffins; can be vegan-ized.)

this recipe calls for:
- 4 very ripe bananas
- 2 c flour
- 1 c sugar
- 1 c chocolate chips (semi-sweet, etc. for vegan.)
- 1/4 c water
- 1&1/2 tsp baking soda
- 1 tsp vanilla
- 1/2 tsp salt
- 1/3 c canola oil

directions:
- mix flour, baking soda, and salt.
- in separate, large bowl, beat sugar and oil.
- add chocolate chips and mashed bananas to sugar/oil mixture.
- add water and vanilla, and blend.
- add flour/soda/salt mixture, and fully blend.
- fill lightly-greased muffin tin.
- bake at 350F for 30 minutes or until golden brown.

*the first time i made them, i had only half a cup of semi-sweet and used Ghirardelli milk chocolate-chips for the other half. waaaaay too much chocolate for me.
**the second time i made them, i nixed the chocolate altogether and made six muffins and put the rest of the mix in a bread pan. (ended up having to cook for twice as long...but made a darn-good banana bread.)
***i'm feelin half a cup of regular chocolate-chips for next time's batch.

the primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation...
but your thoughts about it.
- eckhart tolle.

"from marathon to maranatha."

i apologize for the hiatus...
i have been so ridiculously busy lately.
and i will continue to be until mid-may.

in response to yesterday's tragedy, i will leave you with this image i created...

and this fantastic article on the matter...
"we live as agents of God's Kingdom."

please pray for my grampa.
he had a stroke this weekend...and we are praying he comes back from it, as he was before.
our family is all so-ridiculously close, so this has been a very hard & emotional time.

"we wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. in Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His Holy Name. may Your unfailing love rest upon us, Oh Lord, even as we put our hope in You."
- psalm 33:20-22.
"the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are attentive to their cry."
- psalm 34:15 & 1 peter 3:12.

welcome to my oh-so crazy life.

i have a hard time with change.

this has to do with a plethora of reasons:
(not to beat a dead horse here, but...)
-i am overly-nostalgic.
-i get very attached.
-i am unreasonably loyal. (i feel a sense of ownership, to a degree.)

therefore...
i can't let things go. i feel like i'm giving up. and it makes me feel like a terrible person.
-especially when it comes to people...

the only times i have ever completely stopped being friends with someone i was extremely close to...was because of some sort of toxicity in the relationship. (or the rare, but inescapable too much distance for too long between us dilemma.)
even then--it is a long process of me feeling like a terrible person, until it becomes more & more toxic in itself...and i realize how unhealthy the circumstances have become.

i just love people. and there's a reason i love them.
-so i always want them to be around. (not every day. i'm not a needy psycho. just in my life-and i in their's- in some way or another.)
so it hurts me when they're not...or when they don't care to be anymore.
and it makes me miss them.
even when they have the potential to not have to be missed...

this is the result of getting older, and "growing up." (or so i've been told.)
except, i don't think it has to be that way.
it's called commitment. (that's not just a term. it's not just an idea used in marriage. it's a lifestyle. and it's important...no matter who you are, no matter what the relationship.)
i recognize the fact that people move on; i recognize the fact that people move away; i recognize the fact that people can grow apart.
-but it doesn't have to be that way.
therefore, it's a conscious thought...it's a decision that's made.
which makes it more personal.
it makes it hurt that much more.
apparently that's life.
-but that doesn't make it tolerable.

"two people who were once very close can,
without blame or grand betrayal,
become strangers.
perhaps this is the saddest thing in the world."
- warsan shire.

"shameless" photography plug.

(those can be shameless, right...??)

for those of you who don't know...i am a photographer!!
(very exciting stuff, yall.)
the year of 2012 brought me so much joy because i finally started my DREAM job. (and i say "job"...because up until that point, i had never gotten paid to shoot.)

i started my facebook page awhile back. (click here to take a gander and "like" my page.)
-and i finished my new blog's 2012 highlights over lent. (i didn't want to make any part of those 40+ days about me, so i waited to post about it.) (click here to take a gander at the blog.)

i am sooo-ooo excited to see what 2013 has in store for my photography. :)
(especially now that the weathers warmin up for me.)

to practice any art, no matter how well or badly,
is a way to make your soul grow, so do it."
- kurt vonnegut.

my friends are talented.

(you can find the background on this post here and here.)
today's post is dedicated to my cousin ("and not to mention my best friend")...
- lauren ashley tredoux.

a photo i took of lauren, fall of 2011. (see more here.)

this girl.
she has creativity oozing out of her.
she is so-incredibly artistic.
from sketches, to paintings, to photography, to poetry.
she's got a gift.
i have told her so many countless times that she needs to publish her poetry one day...and that if she doesn't, i will for her.
cause she's just ridiculous.
the diction she uses is impeccable--like perfect. (according to my preferences.)
her ideas are so raw...not only can you feel her experiences with her, but it's like you are experiencing them yourself.
her expression is expressive in itself.
the essence of transparency.

here is one of my favorite poems of her's, preceding a few of my favorite photographs she's taken...

Sungod.
the sun it aches me
pulls me into sea
weed of flowers far beyond my
reach of recovering illusive hopes that led
to my disease.
pull me out
and see my bones cry out
I am no longer daughter
I am dried out.
Hear me Father, let my cup
runneth over.
Hold me tighter
bind my pieces of dust off the floor.
I am not above this.
Crippling cancer weaves itself into
my thorns, choking berries of life
that juice my core.
the sun it aches me to what was once
before (I hear it calling).
the sun it aches
my wounds into healing (I hear it calling).
Holy heat bursts me from my cold; holy heat
bursts every blood cell into worship
thawed.
I am on fire,
they cannot see my wounds burdered
with love.
Father be my breath that motivates these lungs.
Drink me water when I cannot drink myself.
Pour me over with wine that I may be restored.
Feed me your hands, your heart, your thorns
Your sun breaks through my aching parts,
“Don’t be afraid of light, my rays bring you life”

i just love her poems.
i can read them over & over & over again and get something new-and different-and inspiring-and enthralling from each one every single time.
i am immensely envious of her God-given talent.

to pour her very soul into words so descriptive and precisely placed that they can make me laugh-and cry-and cringe-and smile...that is no doubt a gift.

her tumblr has many more poetic gems; check it out.

(she also went to europe last fall, and pretty much all of her photos there were amazing...so instead of weeding through the hundreds of those, i stuck with these beauts.)

-and no, this is not an april fools joke. (hahaha.)

day FORTY.

during this lent season,
i have...

- been heavily involved in the process of a church plant--and it's official kickoff.
- been accepted for an international work & witness trip.
- attempted to bless others as often as i had a mind to.
- recognized that in order to make things happen, you have to set goals...and to reach those goals, you have to set smaller goals at a scheduled pace. (my 40-days of reading goal was not met, unfortunately enough...but i'm still reading, and that was the point of it all anyway.)
- realized how much words of affirmation is one of my gifts. (by way of receiving words of affirmation about my words of affirmation.)
- been sooo thankful for His undeniable, unfathomable, and significant healing throughout my entire life...this past year, definitely included.
- continued to feel an overwhelming sense of support from family, friends, acquaintances, and the like.
- spent quality time seeking God through good music.
(this girl definitely added to that.)
- gained knowledge and perspective through fasting.
- prayed & prayed & prayed & prayed...and strived to seek God, fully--to just dwell in His presence.
- felt truly blessed by all the ways the Lord shows Himself to me, and all the gifts and blessings He has provided me with. (and i am thankful for the coming of age that has helped me realize different reasons and ways in which i can use and incorporate them throughout even my day-to-day life.)
- worshipped the Lord through it all.

it was a good 40 days, yall.
(and although i am disappointed i did not fully "complete" my goals...my relationship with the Lord has significantly grown, which was my ultimate goal regardless.) (and i am continuing on to still meet those goals.)

oh, how i love Him, but...
"oh...how He loves us."
(DO check out that song, performed here by lacey sturm&flyleaf.)

1 Corinthians 15; check it. comeon--why not, it IS Easter.

day 39.

once in darkness, now in light;
once blind, now you see;
once a sinner, now a saint;
once bound, now free.

once a stranger, now a child;
empty, now filled;
once condemned, now reconciled;
broken, now healed.

once a prodigal, now home;
once lost, now found;
once an enemy, now a friend;
once poor, now crowned.

that's the power of the Cross;
see the chains fall.

see the chains...see your chains fall.
- natalie grant.

this song is SO powerful.

-and she's just so good.

if you need somewhere to worship tomorrow for Easter sundaaay...

COME TO MISSION CHURCH!!

*and as a response to the latest gay-rights dispute, read this blog post. seriously--read it.

day...38: what's for dinner?!?

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*i just found this post i never published through from a couple weeks ago!! (shoot !!) but happy Good Friday!!
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currently, i am doing the daniel fast as a time of reflection and prayer.

mission church is doing this 21days of prayer leading up to our official kick-off sunday!! (very exciting; hit me up for any details.)

the fast is requiring me to get creative with my mealtimes, in order to satisfy my hunger while still getting the nutrients i need. it's also causing me to eat more often, (since my meals aren't as large and filling...what-with no bread or meat,) so i'm needing more snack-ish items at my dispense.

so--enjoy!!

(i made this once last summer; it didn't turn out so well. but this time...it was just splendid.)

you might say, how in the world can i make ice cream without dairy?!?
well...
this special ingredient is none other than...bananas!! (i love banana-anything.)

NO-DAIRY ICE CREAM!!
(makes about 2 cups.)

the recipe calls for:
- 2 just-ripened bananas
- 1/4 c water

directions:
- slice bananas into (about) one-inch slices.
- throw banana slices into plastic baggie and stick in freezer. (i took mine out after about five hours; you don't want them in there for days though cause they'll brown and get so frozen that they're even harder to blend.)
- after frozen, put banana slices in blender and blend until smooth. (you might have to spoon it around, but it'll get there.)
- serve it up!! (sometimes i blend peanut butter in--or cocoa--or both!! but the banana by itself is good enough for me!!)

love it. so good. so easy. so healthy.
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annnd just so yall know that cooking isn't just my "forte" (or whatever)...and is definitely a trial-and-error type of art, where you can mess up recipes or just have different tastebuds than the creator...here are the recipes i tried on the fast that did n.o.t turn out delicious:

OLIVE OIL & SALT QUICKBREAD.
vegbonvivant.wordpress.com/2010/11/08/fresh-bread-45-minutes-no-yeast-really-its-yummy-too
-not so "yummy". i just missed bread!! my food processor = me & a wooden spoon. waaay too salty...and yall know i like my salt. i ate three slices, got a stomach ache, and trashed the rest.

TWO-INGREDIENT COOKIES.
www.theburlapbag.com/2012/07/2-ingredient-cookies-plus-the-mix-ins-of-your-choice
-she uses a third ingredient as an "add-in"...but says you don't have to; i'm probably thinkin you do have to for them to be good. they definitely tasted healthy though...i probably ate 12 in one sitting just cause they were there, saved about four to photograph the final product, forgot about them--cause they weren't too memorable, annnd threw them away once they grew mold. (i even added peanut butter to some, cocoa to a few, and both to some...couldn't cut it.)

SUNSHINE BLUES JUICE.
blog.freepeople.com/2012/08/4-easy-homemade-juice-recipes-juicer-required/#ixzz2MmvKLpRg
- iiiii definitely used ginger powder instead of chopped ginger (it was all we had!!) and put both whole lemons in. (minus the peeling, of course. i'm not that stupid.) hahaha. SOOO S.O.U.R. i couldn't even finish it.

days 31-37.

yesterday was my mom's 52nd birthday.

thank you for the many countless things you have taught me.
because of your genes, because of your teachings, and because of your influence & example, i am who i am.

i am blessed that our home has always been filled with home-cooked meals, prayer, affection, laughter, music, and love.

i have been and am so thankful for your listening ears, your loving care, your great glove, your side-arm throw, your kitchen abilities, your open willingness to try new things, your spunky demeanor, your unmatched concern, your immeasurable faith, your unconditional commitment, and your endless support.

through every obstacle, every dim season in time...you always stood by my side, no matter what.

thank you for being my momma, mommy, mom, mother, playmate, teacher, coach, confidant, and friend.
you make me feel grateful, encouraged, comforted, reassured, blessed, and loved. i'm so glad God let me be your daughter. :)
(lots of lists...with lots of descriptors...with lots of meaning.)

i love you, momma. more than you could ever know.

"'many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.'
charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."
- proverbs 31:29-31.

"but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."
- joshua 24:15, NKJ.

days 29 & 30.

Your grace abounds in deepest waters;
Your sovereign hand will be my guide...
where feet may fail and fear surrounds me.
You've never failed, and You won't start now.

so i will call upon Your name...
and keep my eyes above the waves.
when oceans rise, my soul will rest in Your embrace...
for i am Your's and You are mine.

Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders...
let me walk upon the waters, wherever You would call me.
take me deeper than my feet could ever wander,
and my faith will be made stronger...
in the presence of my Savior.
- hillsong UNITED.

my bff-trisha posted this to her blog a couple weeks ago...

and it seriously is my favorite song right now.

(total random ps--but...eggs, grilled ham, grits with red-eye gravy, and orange juice; ribs, corn on the cob, sweet cornbread, and sweet tea...it was only like the best-most Southern day for food ever.)

days 27 & 28: what's for dinner...??

the 21days of prayer & fasting, leading up to Mission Church's OFFICIAL KICKOFF Sunday gathering, has officially concluded.
(you can find out more about the fast here & here.)

the kickoff was awesome.
jonathan's message was awesome.
*hurley & the band's worship was awesome.
my announcements were awesome. (haha. just kidding.)
and we even had 95 people in attendance!!
granted...everything didn't go as perfectly smooth as maybe we would've liked, buuut...hey--it was our first sunday. :)
i'm so-incredibly excited for this church...what God has in store for it, for us, for the lives we touch.

DANIEL FAST!!
(here's what i predominantly ate on the daniel fast, that i also managed to snap a photo of...)

1. oatmeal with strawberries & pecans.
2. grits.
3. salad with tomatoes and vinaigrette dressing.
4. grilled zucchini.
5. plain, lightly salted rice cake with peanut butter & bananas.
6. apple chips.
7. oatmeal with pecans.
8. strawberries.
9. oatmeal with bananas.
10. sliced tomatoes with sliced avocados, balsamic vinegar & sea salt.
   (the best.) 
11. oatmeal with strawberries & pecans.
12. vegan, banana "ice cream".
   (i will share this recipe later.)
13. smoothie.
   (one banana, one c blueberries, 1/2 c water, and a handful of pecans.)
14. homemade tomato soup.
   (i'll be sure to share this recipe sometime.)
15. corn.
16. oatmeal with strawberries & blueberries.
   (i ate a lot of oatmeal. hahaha. just about every breakfast.)

i am thankful for this fast, the reminder to spend more time in prayer, the realizations had, and the ways God revealed Himself to me.
but i'll be honest...pizza never tasted so good.

*you can find hurley's music here & here...and if you come see us here. do it.

day 25 & 26.

GET PUMPED, YALL.

official kickoff event info HERE.

day 24.

today.
was.
beautiful.
oh my word.
80 degrees, yall.
there's just something about spring that livens me up.
it puts a spark back into my daily-life, a hop in my step, and a smile on my face.
it makes me want to do and be and live.
it inspires & motivates me.
it gives me the rejuvenation i so desperately need after wintertime.

(it also makes me extremely nostalgic, but we won't get into that...cause really--what else is new.)

"everything that's new has bravely surfaced,
teaching us to breath.
what was frozen through is newly purposed,
turning all things green.
so it is with You, and how You make me new...
with every season's change.
and so it will be, as You are recreating me...
summer, autumn, winter, spring."
- nichole nordeman, every season.

this song is powerful. and perfect.

(night, yall.)

days 22 & 23.

yesterday was my dad's 52nd birthday.

he has helped secure my foundation in the Lord.
he has helped teach me how to walk, how to ride a bike, how to drive.
he has helped coach my ball teams, and encourage me through every adventure & obstacle.
he has helped keep me laughing when things looked dim.
he has helped me to know that real faith, love, and hard work are the keys to success.
he has helped me to see what true love looks like.
he has helped me figure out how i want my future husband to treat me. (and the ones i love.)
he has helped me get a sense of the over-abundance in which my Heavenly Father loves me.

there is no doubt, i would not even be close to the person i am today without all his help along the way.
thank you, dad.
-for everything.
i love you more than words could say.

"as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him."
- psalm 103:13, NLV.

"the righteous who walks in integrity, blessed are his children after him."
- proverbs 20:7, ESV.

"as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."
- joshua 24:15, NKJ.

you taught me how to walk and how to dream.

God gave me your eyes, but it was you who showed me how to see.

now i can stand on my own, but i know you'll never let go.

i'll always be your baby, no matter how the years fly by...

the way you loved me made me who i am in this world.

i'm a woman now, not a little girl.

wherever this life takes me, i'll always be your baby.

- natalie grant.

day 21.

this song is my life right now.
i've come to learn that pretty much everything about me is a contradiction...besides my belief in the Lord.
but even my prayers--i will be asking the Lord for something that i am desperate about, and then end with telling Him that i know if my prayer isn't answered, it's because He has something better in mind.
(which does seem contradictory to me.)

over time, my prayers have become less about what i want/need/think should happen...but to trusting God that what He wants from me--and others is what is best anyway.
it is the result of life experiences...
learning that life is unfair.
life is hard.
life is painful.
but God is still good and faithful through it all.

that doesn't mean i don't cry out to God.
believe me, i do.
but there's a different sort of faith and trust involved now.
because i have been through some crap...that i couldn't understand why i was at the time (and for quite some time after), but with continuously seeking God...i had epiphanies and realizations. and that "crap" has consequently formed me into who i am today.
-and i am thankful to have moved past it all and significantly grown. because those experiences have shown me how undeniably God pulls through.

the gist of this song is sending a prayer up, and then concluding with the thought...
"but maybe not, not today...
maybe You'll provide in other ways,
and if that's the case...
we'll give thanks to You, with gratitude."

- nichole nordeman...from her woven & spun album.

lyrics: here.

days 13-20.

life just got crazy, folks.
this past week was a total blur.

from plannin & puttin on my best friend-becky's bridal shower.
to goin to my cousin-shay's high school musical.
to getting ready for mission church's official launch next sunday!!
to tryin to make it in time to hear my cousin-quincy's AMAZING mash-up her and her friend arranged and performed.
to attempting to keep up with my schoolwork.
to getting contacted about the philippines trip...

as you all know, i have been praying about this trip for over a year now...that the Lord would really place it on my heart, if i was supposed to go...that the Lord would not allow me to get accepted, if i wasn't supposed to go...that the Lord would provide for me to get me there.
i have contacted all members of my family (and a few close friends) to inform them as to what's going on, and to invite them to pray along with me.

last monday, i received a card from a sweet girl i went to high school with...
we were basically friendly acquaintances in high school, who were both involved in FCA so were aware of the other's belief in God.
we ran into each other last summer after haven't seeing one another for five years, taking each other's prayer requests, and then went our separate ways.
in january, she e-mailed me checking in on my prayer request. which was so amazing & powerful in itself...to know she had been praying that whole time. (and i got quite emotional over it.)
since then, we had continued to keep in touch.
when i mentioned this philippines opportunity to her, she wanted to know more...so i sent her the letter i had sent my family.

and then last monday, her card was encouraging me about this trip--how she had been praying for me, how God was going to use me. and she enclosed a check.
i just thought that was amazing.
she has totally been like Jesus to me these past few months.

steffi-

thank you so much. this all has meant way more than you know; i totally see Jesus in you.

i only hope one day i can bless you as you have blessed me.

when i checked my e-mail tuesday, i had received an e-mail on monday informing me that i had been ACCEPTED for the three-week trip!! (concluding with one of my favorite verses, Ephesians 3:20-21, to really encourage me.)

as i called mom & dad...and texted the rest of my family and friends, everyone was so excited for me.
when i called my grandparents, my grampa told me that he had woke up on monday thinking of & praying for me and this trip...sensing i would get word any day now. (and i did that very day. so crazy.)

i love seeing God in every-day scenes and events...and feeling His presence so overwhelmingly is more than i could ask for.
i have been exceedingly blessed by all the amazing people He has placed in my life.

day 11&12.

i've had a lot more talks this weekend about this 21days of prayer fast.
i think it has to do with the fact that yesterday, we celebrated with one of my best friend's at her bridal shower...and today, we celebrated two of my cousins' birthdays. both of which had incredible food...that i could not partake in.
whenever i had heard people complain about their fast, i would always be like "comeon." cause i mean...you're doing it for God; don't complain about it.
but this daniel fast is reeeally tough for me. and i get it now.
i've never fasted for anything besides lent...and i've never fasted any food of any kind besides dr. pepper one year.
so i really had no idea. (which goes back to my view on "judging" people...'i have no idea.' there's no way to possibly know what's going on and/or gone on in someone's life. giving grace is a beautiful challenge.)

i've come to a few realizations after my first week::
- i like food waaay too much.
- i eat food waaay too much.
- i eat waaay too much food when i eat.
- i am so spoiled that i can eat basically whatever i want at basically all times.
- my biggest complaint has been that i'm always hungry. and then i started thinking about how ridiculous it is because as i stuff my face with more and more food i can eat on this fast, complaining about how i can't possibly get enough to eat...people are literally dying that very moment from starving to death. it's a very sobering thought.
- this fasting process has definitely given me a (very small) glimpse at what others in third world countries go through. yes, i know it's not even CLOSE--becaaause...
     there's a time limit. (i know it's going to end...and,  for that matter, i could actually stop at any given time if i wanted or had to.)
     and i still have enough food to nourish me and satisfy to some degree.

i'm going to challenge myself for the remaining 14 days.
any complaining about the fast shall cease.

"wake up, all you sleepers.

stand up, all you dreamers.

hands up, all believers.

take up your cross; carry it on."

- all sons & daughters.

day 10: what's for dinner??

currently, i am doing the daniel fast for more time for reflection and prayer.

mission church is doing this 21days of prayer (and fasting) leading up to our official kick-off sunday!! (very exciting; hit me up for any details.)
today's prayvotional (from our lead follower-jonathan) is paired with the Message's version of Exodus 23:28-30.
"the constant assumption that you're going to get quick results will eat you up. regardless of what the world conditions you to think, if you stay faithful and patient God will lead you "little by little" to where you're supposed to be. confess your tendency to want to rush results. ask God for patience."

this time in my life is definitely trying my patience. i feel like there are a lot of things i am inevitably waiting for. it's enforcing even more the need to just trust and give it all to God. i'm thankful for this fast for even more consciousness to pray and spend time with God.

the daniel fast is definitely requiring me to get creative with my mealtimes, in order to satisfy my hunger while still getting the nutrients i need. it's also causing me to eat more often, (since my meals aren't as large and filling...what-with no bread or meat,) so i'm needing more snack-ish items at my dispense.

so--enjoy!!

APPLE CHIPS!!
(makes about two servings' worth. these are great to eat year-round!!)

this recipe calls for:
- two apples, sliced paper-thin.
- 4 c *water (optional: use 4 c apple juice/cider OR 1/4 c maple syrup instead.)
- 1 tsp *cinnamon (optional: use 1 tsp brown sugar, as well.)

directions:
- slice apples paper-thin (aka: as thin as you can get them. aka: use a mandolin, if you have one. using a knife becomes very tedious.)
- soak them in bowl of *water & *cinnamon for 10-12 minutes. (make sure water covers apples. use more if necessary.)
- lay apple slices flat & spread-out on a cooling rack in a cooking pan. (we had to get rid of our cooling rack, so i used our old grill-irons. ha.) the apples need to be able to breathe through both sides. (otherwise, you can tediously turn over each apple slice half-way through the bake time on wax paper for close to the same effect.)
- bake at 350F for 23-26 minutes. (i did 26.)
- remove from oven, turn heat off, and let oven cool down for about five minutes.
- put apples back in oven for about 8 minutes, so they can dry out further without burning.
-let cool, and chow down!!

**be sure to store in air-tight container to prevent staleness!!

day 9.

lately, i've been rather overwhelmed with the over-abundance of social media and the variety of ways to keep in contact with people/not keep in contact with people.

phone calls
texting
email #1
email #2
email #3
personal facebook
photography facebook
MC facebook
MC twitter
personal/photography instagram
MC instagram
personal blog
photography blog
MC blog

-and this does not include keeping up with/researching others' blog entries, instagrams, tweets, facebook posts, pinterest ideas. (nor any other i do not use.)

it's all so much noise. and clutter.

we get so caught up in other people's "lives", (or what they present their lives to be,) we don't actually interact with them; we don't actually live life with them. we are only observing it.
-and we're gonna look back and see it's passed us by.
24 years has flown by.
i am definitely overly nostalgic. this is a cause of looking into the past. i have so much of my life recorded in journals, photos, homevideos, and online archives (and tangible objects) that there are so many ways to look back.
-and i have found that i have the tendency to go into nostalgia-mode when things are looking dim. (cause a lot of times, it helps.)
-and i definitely am blessed that i can look back and feel nostalgic...
but i want to learn to look forward more. (yes, at times the future looks completely blurry or even darker, but...)
looking back is easier. it's familiar. you know what happened.
looking forward is entering the unknown. it's risky. it makes you break out of your comfort zone.
but if we only look back, we're not going to go anywhere.

so.
i started thinking...
if i can manage my time and make time for God...
and use every facet of social media to point to Him...
that is a good thing.

"from mountains to turquoise seas, you reign."
- paul klein.

day 8.

tomorrow (technically today, i suppose...) is the last day of february; that means it's just right around the corner when i find out if i'm accepted for this mission trip or not.
i truly feel that the Lord has placed this ministry and organization on my heart.

-however, if come find out i'm not accepted, and i'm not meant for it this go-around...
i know God has a plan.
maybe it was for me to be praying for them for a year and spreading the word about them to others who could pray for them. maybe going through the whole application process and waiting time was to prepare me for something else that i wouldn't have been prepared for otherwise.
this preparation period really has been wonderful and definitely brought me closer to God...and i'm so thankful for it.
when i think of where i was just over a year ago...(for one, it has the potential to make me sick. but for two...) it makes me sooooo thankful. because i couldn't be where i am, and how i am (wellness&emotion-wise) without the good Lord. and of course, the amazing support system He has blessed me with.
the time is over when i'm disconcerted at thinking back to where i was last year at "this time".
-and for that alone, i am so thankful.

i still do not know why it was necessary that i go through all that, (...for another time--and even more intensified,) but i do know that it brought me that much closer to the Lord.
it made me fully rely on Him.

all this to say...
no matter the Lord's reason for things, when we remain close to Him, He can teach us things we might not learn otherwise.
when we remain close to Him, He can heal us in ways we never imagined possible.

"take this life, so i can live.

teach my soul selflessness...

less of me and more of You.

bound my heart to what is true;

bound my heart to all of You.

when i try to go alone,

Your grace and mercy lead me home.

i have learned to count on You.

there is nothing You can't do.

i surrender, handing over...

all of my soul,

all of my heart

for all that You are.

nothing better, no greater offer..

all of our soul,

all of our heart

for all that You are.

this is my soul's melody.

i've abandoned all;

i'm done with me.

let this be the song i sing,

until i find eternity,

until my final breath leaves me."

-paul klein.

(be sure to check him out; he's great.)

day 5, 6, 7.

sorry for the two-day hiatus, yall.
all this snow has set me in a (much-needed) sense of reflection and stillness.

(i tweeted and instagrammed this photo for mission church earlier.)
whenever there's a snow, i'm always reminded to just be still...taking it all in--the beauty, the peacefulness, the unity of it all.

"be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him."
- psalm 37:7a, NIV.

"rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything, give thanks...this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
-1 thessalonians 5:16-18, NKJV.

at mission church these past three sundays, we have concentrated on Jesus's sermon in luke 4:18-19 (ESV)...
"the spirit of the Lord is upon me because He has anointed Me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recover sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." (i love it.)

using the Message's version, verse 19 states::

"this is God's year to act."

and i absolutely believe that to be true.

day 4.

TPDL, chapter 4

made to last forever.

this life is not all there is.

"...God has planted eternity in the human heart..."

- ecclesiastes 3:11, NLT.

you have an inborn instinct that longs for immortality. this is because God designed you, in His image, to live for eternity. even though we know everyone eventually dies, death always seems unnatural and unfair. the reason we feel we should live forever is that God wired our brains with that desire!! (interesting. i seriously have never thought about that before!!...and considering how reflective/over-analytical i am, that is actually rather rare.)

when you fully comprehend that there is more to life than here and now, and you realize that life is just preparation for eternity, you will begin to live differently. you will start living in light of eternity, and that will color how you handle every relationship, task, and circumstance.

when you live in light of eternity, your values change. your priorities are reordered.

the most damaging aspect of contemporary living is short-term thinking. to make the most of your life, you must keep the vision of eternity continually in your mind and the value of it in your heart.

frankly, the capacity of our brains cannot handle the wonder and greatness of heaven.

"no eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him."

- 1 corinthians 2:9, NLT.

we will enjoy unbroken fellowship with God. (so awesome.)

it's more than the opportunity of a lifetime; God offers you an opportunity beyond your lifetime. the Bible says, "the Lord's plans stand firm forever; His intentions can never be shaken."- psalm 33:11, NLT.

there is more to life than just here and now.

"and this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. but anyone who does what pleases God will live forever."

- 1 john 2:17, NIV.

book's question:

since [you were] made to last forever, what is the one thing [you] should stop doing and the one thing [you] should start doing today...??

my answer:

hmm...one of my biggest flaws is worrying. i think about things to the nth degree, instead of just giving it to God. (which we all know...worrying is completely pointless.) one of my favorite quotes-that i need to constantly think of is: "if you pray, why worry...?? if you worry, why pray...??" (if anyone knows who said that, i cannot seem to find it.)

Genesis 21-50

(to be cont...don't worry, i am not using the purpose driven life as my Bible, people. ;) my scheduled-monday will help get back on the 40-day guide track.)

(i guess, i wrote my own sort of purpose driven life synopsis here a little over a year ago...many things in my life have changed since then; these thoughts have not.)