Thankful.

When I was choosing a college, MidAmerica was a natural choice. My parents met there, (I would be the 16th person in my family to go there,) I was able to receive multiple scholarships-including ones for softball & choir, I had attended the partnered church for the past nine years at the time, and it was a Christian college.
Going to public grade schools, I had never known the significant impact going to a Christian college would have on my years there.
Not only is there a chapel service 3/5 weekdays, but most professors will pray or do a devotional before each class, the professors genuinely care about you as a student AND as a child of God, the professors understand when you are going through trials and want to work with you, and there is always someone on campus who is willing to listen and/or pray with you.
This semester I have had to communicate with my professors about my struggles this past year-and specifically the past three months; although I was very hesitant since I am such a private person...it has been beneficial. Today, I received an e-mail from one of my professors::

"McKenzi,
I read this devotional below today and for some reason thought of you and felt I should forward it. Maybe God knows why. In any case, it's good advice for most of us. See you in class.
Prof. P.

'Thursday March 22, 2012
The Ways to Self-knowledge
"Know yourself" is good advice. But to know ourselves doesn't mean to analyse ourselves. Sometimes we want to know ourselves as if we were machines that could be taken apart and put back together at will. At certain critical times in our lives it might be helpful to explore in some detail the events that led us to our crises, but we make a mistake when we think that we can ever completely understand ourselves and explain the full meaning of our lives to others.
Solitude, silence, and prayer are often the best ways to self-knowledge. Not because they offer solutions for the complexity of our lives but because they bring us in touch with our sacred center, where God dwells. That sacred center may not be analysed. It is the place of adoration, thanksgiving, and praise.'"

It is amazing that I can be at a school like this, where this is a common occurrence...I am so exceedingly blessed-and so thankful.

"I look to You."

These past three and a half months have been the hardest of my life.
My life did a complete 180, and I was back to square one...and forced to make the most difficult decision of my life.
Because of everything-and how hard it was on me-I decided to give up listening to any secular music for lent. That way, I could spend that time in my jeep or in my room thinking about and praising God through music that glorified Him.
My family has listened to Selah since their first album in 2005, but their most recent has really struck a chord in me...I've listened to it non-stop for the past month. There are seven (!!) songs I cannot get over, but the one that makes me cry every time is "I Look to You".

You can listen to it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j3Yl9j4EytE&feature=related

The phrase that sings "I don't know if I'm gonna make it; nothing to do but lift my head", I always like to think that instead of lifting my head, I lift my hands...and that just sends shivers up my spine to think that at my lowest points, when I feel like I cannot possibly do anything or continue on, I turn to God and am still able to praise Him. I just love that...
"when melodies are gone, in You I hear a song"...these past three months have been such a solid reminder that I really can only find true joy in Him, that I really can only find true peace in Him, that I need to TRUST Him...and REJOICE in Him--and PRAISE Him...no matter what, through it all.
-and although some moments felt like what must've been Hell, I have grown so much just within that time period, and I am only planning on continuing to do so; it has made me SO-THANKFUL and SO much wiser and brought me SO much closer to God. it's amazing how He works like that...
"and we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."
- Romans 8:28, NIV.

joshua 1:9

"Have I not commanded you?? Be strong and courageous!! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."
- NIV.

proverbs 3:5-6

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
- NIV.