i spend a lot of my time wishing for moments back...moments when i could have stood up for myself better, moments i could have spent more productively, moments i wish i would have made a different decision, moments i missed out on, moments i wish i had said something more or completely different.
i do not think i am alone in this. these are not necessarily regrets...but moments i can learn from. if i think about them long enough and too frequently, however, i am wasting other moments.
i am bad at this. i think too much. way too much. i wish, and want, and plan, and write too much...instead of do.
-and i want (there's that word again) to change that about myself, so i am going to do that. and i am hoping this statement will hold me accountable. (as i am hoping this blog will do in many regards.)
today, i am quite ill, which always makes me reflect on this concept of moments. because whenever i am ill, i am quite ill...and then i lose many moments, sometimes days. and it makes me want to do something even more when i recover; i just have to remember that feeling when those moments and days come again.
i leave you with this perfectly relevant quote i love::
"how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."
- annie dillard.
("what's for dinner, wednesdays...??" is not happening today, due to my current state. but tomorrow i am planning on making my aunt nan's oatmeal cookies for my last day of work at Ritz...so it is just postponed. no worries.)
Go to the dr now!!
ReplyDeletei already went; i'm on five different medications. :)
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