day 8.

tomorrow (technically today, i suppose...) is the last day of february; that means it's just right around the corner when i find out if i'm accepted for this mission trip or not.
i truly feel that the Lord has placed this ministry and organization on my heart.

-however, if come find out i'm not accepted, and i'm not meant for it this go-around...
i know God has a plan.
maybe it was for me to be praying for them for a year and spreading the word about them to others who could pray for them. maybe going through the whole application process and waiting time was to prepare me for something else that i wouldn't have been prepared for otherwise.
this preparation period really has been wonderful and definitely brought me closer to God...and i'm so thankful for it.
when i think of where i was just over a year ago...(for one, it has the potential to make me sick. but for two...) it makes me sooooo thankful. because i couldn't be where i am, and how i am (wellness&emotion-wise) without the good Lord. and of course, the amazing support system He has blessed me with.
the time is over when i'm disconcerted at thinking back to where i was last year at "this time".
-and for that alone, i am so thankful.

i still do not know why it was necessary that i go through all that, (...for another time--and even more intensified,) but i do know that it brought me that much closer to the Lord.
it made me fully rely on Him.

all this to say...
no matter the Lord's reason for things, when we remain close to Him, He can teach us things we might not learn otherwise.
when we remain close to Him, He can heal us in ways we never imagined possible.

"take this life, so i can live.

teach my soul selflessness...

less of me and more of You.

bound my heart to what is true;

bound my heart to all of You.

when i try to go alone,

Your grace and mercy lead me home.

i have learned to count on You.

there is nothing You can't do.

i surrender, handing over...

all of my soul,

all of my heart

for all that You are.

nothing better, no greater offer..

all of our soul,

all of our heart

for all that You are.

this is my soul's melody.

i've abandoned all;

i'm done with me.

let this be the song i sing,

until i find eternity,

until my final breath leaves me."

-paul klein.

(be sure to check him out; he's great.)